Making Connections
by FadingIntoYou
Summary: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - Albert Einstein. There was nothing normal about how this all happened, and that's how he knew she was different. It's an AU story, there's your warning.
1. Chapter 1

So, there's a few things you **MUST** know before continuing.

- Carter is the same age, but no son.

- Reese is a normal guy, still charming and everything, but w/o the haunted shadow of being a killer around

- Amelia is my own creation, she's mine so don't hate

- Fusco will still be Fusco

- Finch will be appearing...soon

My fic is AU for a reason. I enjoyed coming up with this concept so know before going in that you shouldn't have any preconceived notions of what everything will be like. Enjoy with an open mind.

I **WILL NOT** be updating unless I have the future CH or 2 done, so any suggestions for directions would be much appreciated. Anything is possible, so don't be scared to be honest :]

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><p>Walking into the remarkably calm precinct, John scanned the room until his eyes fell onto a short pudgy man that he recognized from the investigation years ago. Though it had been four long years, he'd never forget the man's pessimistic attitude when it came to his girlfriend's murder in Central Park. Everything about those few months that they looked for her killer had him in a daze unless he was talking care of little Amelia. He looked down to see his daughter on his shoulder, one tiny hand resting on the free right side of his neck, while her head rested in the crook of his left side, her little hand scrunched into the back of his suit jacket. Her eyes were scanning the room, her eyes just barely visible over his shoulder as he held onto her, making his was way for said detective. He saw a female detective at a desk across from this man's, her face not registering with him as part of the investigation before. He dismissed it as he walked up to the man's desk, his back to what he assumed was the man's female counterpart.<p>

"Detective Fusco" he said in a curt tone, shifting Amelia's weight as she popped her head up, him letting her lean more on his shoulder as he talked.

"Can I help you with something?" he asked in a bored tone, regarding John with a wary gaze, his stance intimidating and his jaw locked in quiet anger.

"You were the lead detective in my girlfriend's murder four years ago and never returned her personal belongings. You stated they were evidence and never were around when I came to collect them conveniently. I'd like my daughter to have something of her mother's at the very least" he finished angrily, shifting his focus as Amelia's hand squeezed the side of his neck lightly to gain his attention.

"Lo que es mi hija?" he murmured into the side of her head as he glared at the detective. The man got up to get another officer for confirmation or something of the sort as he stood there.

"Down" she said to him, wiggling her feet as he sighed and placed her gently on the floor. He'd known that at four she'd be inquisitive, but it was scary just how much like him she was. She almost didn't look anything like Jessica except for her slightly more rounded eyes. She was his little mini-me and he couldn't be any prouder of her.

As she stood beside her father, she watched as he sighed irritably at the other man for taking so long. She'd seen the people in the room as they walked in and she wanted to find the lady she'd seen. She was only able to see the side of the lady's face, but the half smile and eyes reminded her of the pictures her father showed her. She didn't remember her mother much, but when the lady looked up to talk to someone, her eyes looked just like her mother's had. The smile on the woman's face seemed genuinely kind and it made her want to go see what she was like. She saw her a few feet away leaning her head against her hand on her desk, flipping through paper and drinking from a coffee mug. While Amelia was mischievous by nature, she approached the detective's desk soundlessly as she placed her small hands over the edge just barely getting her palm on there, her eyes just visible above the metal of the desk. She stood and watched the detective for a minute, smiling with her entire face, as she stood there unnoticed. She then worked up the courage to announce herself, her face still half hidden behind the desk.

"Hi" she whispered, and the detective jumped in surprise as she swung her head up to meet the most intensely blue eyes she'd ever seen.

She sat and just watched the little girl for a minute, neither of them moving as they took they other in. Aside from the amazingly baby blue of the little girl's eyes, she had this dark chocolate brown hair that was wavy from what she could see in her ponytail. She swore the little girl had read her mind because she came to stand in front of her drawers, giving Detective Carter the ability to look at this little thing entirely. She was a beautiful little girl, blue eyes and, she'd been right about the hair, but she also had the prettiest oval shaped face. Her hair was in a ponytail, but you could tell it was still wavy and long. She had small studs in her ears and wore the cutest pair of jeans, sneakers, and baby white and purple bomber jacket. She wanted to laugh at the adorable overload this little girl exuded, but just smiled as she inched closer to her chair.

"Mi llamo Amelia" she said in a quiet voice, smiling shyly as the detective leaned her elbows onto her knees to be closer to her height. Carter smiled and responded, glad that she knew some Spanish.

"Mi llamo Jocelyn" she answered, ecstatic at the smile that over came Amelia's face. She came really close to Carter this time, the top of her head about six inches from her forehead as Amelia held her hands out.

"Up?"

Carter smiled and nodded, asking her whether she wanted to sit on her lap or on her desk. Amelia chose to sit on her desk, turning to face Carter's left and her father's back as she sat cross-legged and waited. Carter was impressed that Amelia was content to look around for the time being, giving her time to pull any small amount of Spanish out of thin air.

"You have pretty eyes," Amelia said, smiling an adorably dimpled smile at her as she placed her head in her right hand, her body facing Amelia completely. She sighed in relief that she spoke English, not sure her introductions and lunch menu choice of Spanish would suffice. John was still waiting on Detective Fusco when he noticed Amelia wasn't next to him and silently began to panic. Before it got out of hand, he spotted his little girl looking enthralled with the female detective he'd seen earlier when he arrived. Amelia was never that open with people to begin with, and it intrigued him that this woman had gotten his daughter to smile and laugh with her in the ten minutes they'd been there. He wanted to continue to watch, but the other detective was making his way back.

"You're sweet Amelia, do you go to school yet?" she asked curiously, generally curious about her. She nodded her head emphatically then paused and looked stumped before answering.

"Preschool Jos…Josse…" she struggled with her name and Carter just smiled and cut her off gently.

"It's ok sweetie, you can call me Jos"

"Oh, ok! In school, we made noodle pictures Jos…" and she started to ramble on excitedly as Carter sat and listened intently, unaware that they were being watched once again. John was leaning against the rude detective's desk for a few minutes before the man huffed and called to him.

"Mr. Reese, is there something else I can help you with?" he asked annoyed, pushing his chair back to get up.

"Yeah just one more thing, who's that" he inquired, watching as his daughters hands flailed at a story she was telling the detective. He smiled wider this time, knowing that that was one of the few things she inherited from her mother.

"Oh, that's Detective Carter. She's been here a couple years now, so if you'll excuse me" he supplied, then made a gesture of movement as he grabbed his coat and left. John watched his daughter for a few more moments before regretfully interrupting.

"Mi hija, is this the crayon story again?" he asked knowingly as Amelia nodded her head and blushed lightly, before trying to finished telling the detective the story.

"I'm sorry, she's been on a bit of a coloring kick since she found out other kids couldn't color in the lines yet" he said chuckling as the detective turned her chair to face him head on. He was taken away at the sparkling smile she gave him as she said hello, even her eyes crinkling in joy at his daughter's storytelling.

"Daddy Daddy, this is Jos! She's my new friend," she stated proudly before reaching out to Carter and having her pick her up, only to be placed on her lap sideways because Amelia didn't want to be put down just yet. He was shocked that his daughter had taken such a liking to her, but what floored him was that the detective wrapped herself around Amelia; almost protective like he did when they were at home. She never let anyone do that, and when they did she'd scream bloody murder until she was released. Amelia just snuggled deeper into her embrace as he met the detective's startled gaze as Amelia's eyes closed, the detective running a hand over her head as Amelia clutched a piece of her jacket in her left hand while she sucked the thumb on her right.

"I'm sorry, she never lets people hold her, let alone fall asleep on them" he whispers, realizing that he's crouched at her height in her chair as he strokes his daughter's face gently before looking up at the detective again.

"John Reese, and this little one is Amelia as I'm sure you know. You are?" he knew her title, but he wanted to know exactly what Jos was short for. She looked back down at his half-asleep daughter before meeting his eyes once more.

"Oh, sorry hi. I'm Detective Jocelyn Carter. It's nice to meet you Mr. Reese," she whispered back, and the words wrapped around his spine as he shivered at how intimate his name sounded coming from her. He hadn't felt this close to a woman in years, and all he knew was her name. They held each other's gaze until they both noticed Amelia trying to shift, instantly whimpering as her father tried to pick her up. She held on tighter to Carter and he smiled apologetically at her before his jaw dropped in amazement at how she was smoothing her hand over Amelia's head, taking out her ponytail and massaging her head. She then proceeded to murmur what sounded like a lullaby to her as she shifted her to have Amelia's head on her shoulder now, Amelia immediately relaxing and curling atop her chest and into her neck. He could feel the warmth spread through his chest at the gentle smile on the detective's face as he stood, forcing her to look up at him as she rose cautiously with his daughter. He tried to wake Amelia again, but she just sighed and snuggled deeper into Jocelyn's chest. They smiled at one another before John looked around the squad room still scant with people at 12 in the afternoon. He motioned his head towards her desk and she tilted her head to one side in question.

"You, uh…you have lunch yet? It's the least I can do since Amelia's using you as her personal pillow" he said smirking, his eyes watching hers for any hint of discomfort. When he found none, he smiled as she looked down at her and back up to him, shifting both of her hands, one under the little girl and the other rubbing soothing circles on her back. She motioned with her head to Fusco's desk then to her own.

"I guess since Fusco's on lunch, I can go too. Do you mind grabbing my jacket? My wallet is in the pocket"

"Oh no Detective, when I ask a woman to join us for lunch, she never pays" he says as he follows her outside and onto the sidewalk, aware of her suddenly more introverted mood.

"I guess you've had plenty of practice huh?" she asks lightly, her tone sounding slightly strained even to her own ears. She sighs and continues to hold Amelia and weave through the foot traffic when she feels his hand on her lower back, keeping her close to him. She could feel him lean close to her as he leant down to speak to her, and she could feel herself grow warm at his close proximity.

"Definitely not Detective, but I was raised to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn't nearly as dead as you may think" he states, looking at her as she meets his gaze, winking at her as they enter the taqueria, the smells hitting her full force making her smile at all of the memories they brought back. He noticed the easy smile and wanted to ask, but he could see Amelia coming around and wiping the sleep from her eyes. As she looked up at Jocelyn, she smiled and hugged the detective tight, making her eyes widen and another smile grace her features as she murmured something to Amelia before she nodded quickly and was put down on the floor. He was suspicious to say the least, but let it go as she came to take his hand, giggling as he swung her up into his arms to look at all of the food.

"Hi daddy! Can I have a steak taco please?" she asks sweetly, batting her eyelashes in a way that had Jocelyn holding in her laughter at the conceding look that overcame John's face. She'd never witnessed the bond between a daughter and her father, and it astonished her that he seemed to live solely for this little girl.

"Detective, what can I get you?" he asked, turning to meet two sets of identical blue eyes and sighed to herself. This man may not be married (since there's no band on his finger), but he just seemed to be too good to be true. He was gorgeous, well mannered, witty, and caring for his daughter and even took her to lunch today. It all just seemed too neat to be right, but she let herself indulge for the time being. While she appreciated the gesture, she ordered her food in Spanish like she did every week, smiling at the man behind the counter as he flirtatiously smiled back and stared at her. It made John uncomfortable at the attention she was getting from the man, but soon had to almost swallow his fist as Amelia wanted her to hold her again, the Detective doing so willingly, missing the look the man gave John as he stood close behind her and just smiled. He knew what he was doing, but he'd plead insanity if anyone ever asked.

As they grabbed their food to sit as a table outside on the patio, Jocelyn laughed as Amelia made herself comfortable next to her, leaving her father to sit by himself on the other side of the table. As Amelia dug into her food and ignored the adults, John started asking Jocelyn the questions he was curious about.

"So Detective, what was with the carefree smiled when we walked in?" he asked over his horchata, catching the way her eyes sparked in happiness as she leaned back to look at him squarely.

"Please Mr. Reese, call me Jocelyn. I'm off the clock for now" she said teasingly, and he just smirked in response.

"Well in that case, call me John"

"Alright John. The smells of this place bring me back to when I was a kid. I grew up next to my best friend until we were 15," she said, her eyes taking on a glassy look as she continued, "her family was Mexican and they used to have these huge parties with homemade arros con frijoles and it just…" she sighed and cleared her throat before she made to continue. Unfortunately, her phone chose that moment to ring. She smiled apologetically at them before she stood up and walked a few feet away. John looked after her as she stood sideways, talking and smiling a tender smile to whoever it was that she was on the phone with. He could see the way she played with the hair she kept tucking behind her ear bantering with the caller. He was curious to say the least, but he didn't have time to dwell on it when Amelia stood on the bench she was sharing with Jocelyn. He smiled at the serious look on her face before she placed her chubby little hands on the table and met his stare.

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><p>I have a confession to make...Amelia was based off a real person (or persons). It is actually based on a mix of both my brother and I from what we remember and stories my mom has told us. So, that's where I got almost everything about her, except the eye color. Everything else was a collaborated effort I guess you could say.<p>

Review if you enjoyed it or have any suggestions! I welcome any and all feedback.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so glad people liked this story so much! I appreciate the positive feedback and plan to have quite a few more chapters published.

For the reviewer that asked why his name is John Reese here still, I think it'd confuse people if I changed his name. Plus, I enjoy this coming to me ut of nowhere so just follow my story and watch the way it unfolds. I promise it'll be interesting.

A special thanks to Liz, Sam, and Kala for reading my first 2 chapters when they were rough drafts :] If you don't know Kala, she wrote "Pushing Boundaries " so go check it out!

Keep reading and reviewing with predictions or suggestions, I actually took quite a few into consideration for the upcoming chapters. Enjoy!

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><p>"Daddy" she said seriously, and he was having trouble keeping a neutral face. In the past, laughing at her when she was trying to be so intensely serious meant she'd get mad and that was the last thing he wanted.<p>

"Yes Mia?" she smiled at the nickname but leaned more onto the table, reaching her hands to grab both of his cheeks in her palms. He placed his hands over hers to steady her and waited for her to speak. He raised a surprisingly articulate little girl, and waiting her out would find to be effective.

"Daddy, I like Jos"

"I know mija, Jocelyn is very nice"

"No daddy, I like Jos and I want her to be my friend. Can she come over for dinner?"

He sat there frozen at Amelia's question, unsure of how to respond. On one hand, he was intrigued by the Detective as well, but wasn't sure if it would be best to try anything with Amelia taking a liking to her so soon. On the other hand, if Amelia wanted something, she was going to fight him tooth and nail until he gives in or bargains. She really is too much like him.

"Sweetheart, Jocelyn may have plans for dinner"

"What about tomorrow night? Can I ask her about tomorrow?" the two of them were locked into a staring match, unbeknownst to them that Carter had hung up her phone and watched them for a good few minutes. She wanted to laugh when Amelia reached out fearlessly to grab her father's face, but it made her heart stutter step when he placed his larger hands over hers. She was his entire world, and being able to witness that kind of intimate relationship was breathtakingly beautiful. She noticed that they both stared stubbornly at one another, so she decided to rejoin them since she caught the tail end of their conversation.

"Ask me what about tomorrow?" she asks, and laughs at the guilty expressions on their faces. Amelia lets go of her father as he smiles at her, them both silently deciding something she wasn't aware of. She swore they were telepathically communicating, but she let it slide as she sat back down and Amelia went back to her food.

"So, what was all that about?"

"I'll let her tell you later if she wants to" Amelia's head shoots up and she grins triumphantly at her father with an, 'I-told-you-so' grin before she continues eating. He sighs and rolls his eyes, thinking that she was just a little _too_ much like him at times like these.

"Ok, fair enough. Sorry about that, I forgot to call Boo before I left for lunch" he looked at her quizzically, unsure as to who this 'Boo' was. Her smile seemed to be one of familiarity, and he was praying to anyone that was listening that it wasn't a boyfriend with an embarrassing pet name.

"And Boo would be…" he trailed off purposely, hoping she'd fill in the blanks. She smiled sweetly as she ducked her head, taking a sip of her drink as he waited patiently for her. She looked up at him and sighed.

"Boo's my neighbor's son Caspian. I call him Cas, but Caspian reminded him of Casper the friendly ghost, so he's been Boo for a while. I watch him a few times a week so his mother can work" she shrugged and went back to her food while he just looked at her in amazement, unable to believe that she'd give whatever free time she had to watch her neighbor's son. She looks back up to him and he grins, looking back to his food.

"So, what were we talking about before I left?"

"Oh, why you were so happy to be here" she smiled softly and rolled her eyes innocently as she blew out a weighted breath. She looked down to Amelia before continuing.

"It just made me remember all of the good happy times Lina, my best friend and I had before she was killed our sophomore year of high school" she said quietly, returning to her food and letting the silence reign for a while. As they finished their meal he put his hand over hers on the table, catching her eyes.

"I'm sorry she's gone. I hope you'll forgive me for prying" he said, his eyes averting to his daughters as she looked around innocently.

"It's fine, it's been a long time"

"That doesn't make it any easier though"

They sat with his hand atop hers for a few minutes, just smiling gently at one another as Amelia looked on in amusement. Jos blushes at the fact that he hasn't pulled his hand away yet when she catches the same blush creep up his neck as he smiles humorously. Amelia sat quietly in the corner and sipped her juice, watching the way her father's fingers flexed over Jos's. She sat back and accidently giggled, watching as both adults jumped and pulled their hands away as they stared at her. She giggled at the wide eyes Jos gave her, but outright belly laughed at the dazed expression her father had before he shook his head and laughed with her. She liked that Jos was nice to her; it wasn't always like that when her dad met women.

"So John, you know that I'm a detective, what is it that you do?" Carter said as she cleared her throat again and let Amelia lean against her again. He leant back and stared at her, watching the ease in which she interacted with them.

"I'm a fireman actually. My brother looks after her while I'm gone but I call and miss her like crazy" he glances down at Amelia as she slips her head into the Detective's lap, Carter brushing her finger through her ponytail as she just stares as Carter.

"That's really great," she whispers as she watches Amelia, jumping a little when Amelia abruptly stands and sits on the table in front of Carter, forcing John to scoot over to be able to see the both of them. He was glad he moved the plates a few minutes ago for Amelia's sake. Amelia sits in front of Carter and put her feet in between her legs on the bench as her butt rests on the edge of the table and freezes for a minute before reaching forward timidly. Amelia grabs the gold cross that rests a few inches below the hollow of Carter's throat and just holds it silently. Her little fingers trace the lines of it as she stops and looks at Carter with her head tilted to the side.

"Daddy has one of those," she says quietly, her mouth slowly forming a smile that reaches her eyes. Carter didn't understand why she was so excited until she saw the way John was staring a whole in her throat. It made her feel hot so she ignored him and went back to Amelia.

"Really? Is it like mine, or bigger?" Amelia nodded vigorously as she used Carter's shoulder to jump off the table, only to crawl onto the bench beside her father, tugging at his shirt.

"Mija…" he said warningly, and she stopped and stuck her bottom lip out to pout effectively.

"But daddy, Jos has one just like you. But hers is there, and yours is right here" she said, pointing to the left side of his ribs proudly as Jocelyn tried to keep the smile off her face. She wasn't surprised to find out that he had a tattoo, but he seemed embarrassed. She had two of her own so it wasn't really so bad.

"Amelia, your daddy's is a tattoo. Mine's a necklace, but I have tattoos too" she said to Amelia, and John's eyes snapped to hers immediately. She liked that she'd surprised him; it meant that there was still some mystery there. He smiled flirtatiously at her when before he opened his mouth, only to have his daughter beat him to it.

"Really? Can I see them?" she asked excitedly, leaning on her father for support. He couldn't say he wasn't thinking the same thing.

"Maybe some other time sweetie. I actually have to get back to work," she said apologetically as she got up, watching as the pair followed. They started walking, but Amelia wanted Carter to carry her back before they had to leave. She agreed, and John just smiled as he followed close behind her.

"She has you wrapped around her little finger Detective," he whispered, watching as she shook her head and laughed before responding.

"Like you are any better John. All she has to do is bat those eyes and you're done," she teased him, the rest of their walk comfortable as they made their way inside the precinct. They followed her to her desk because Amelia refused to let go outside. They passed Fusco on the way in, and he just had to comment.

"Hey Carter, when'd you become a munchkin sitter?" he questioned, but stopped when John leveled him with a dangerous look as they passed. Carter stood at her desk with Amelia standing on her desk, eye level with her.

"So daddy said not today but tomorrow. Can you please come to dinner tomorrow Jos?" she pleaded, batting those eyes again, and this time John watched on in amusement when Carter looked at him.

"You're on your own Detective, it was all her idea. Can't resist those eyes can you…" she glared at him before whispering something in the little girls ear and slipping a card in her pocket as she jumped and hugged her before she was put back on the ground and beside her father. He was told that he wouldn't know until he got home, so he respected his daughter's brief secret. He looked back up to Jocelyn leaning a hip against her desk as she met his gaze head on. She smiled slowly as he did he same, both a little unsure of themselves. Before they had a chance to decide, Amelia gladly filled in.

"Daddy! It's time to watch UP! Kiss Jos bye so we can go home!" she said exasperatedly as she tapped her little foot impatiently. He burst out laughing as did she, but Amelia didn't let up. They sobered and he went in to hug her, her hands going around his neck as his wound around her waist. As her hands began to fall away, Amelia huffed and Carter looked down and back up before kissing him quickly on the cheek before pulling back flushed. He kept a hand at the small of her back and pulled her in lightly to place a kiss to the right of her mouth quickly before picking up Amelia. He winked at her as they left, and she could swear she could still feel his breath against her skin.

In the car, John asked Amelia what Carter had said to her in the precinct, and she only gave him minimal information.

"Jos is coming over tomorrow daddy, you have to call her" she produced a card from her pocket and smiled like the cat that ate the canary as she wiggled it in his view in the rearview mirror. He laughed outright as she waved the card in her hand, smiling and talking a mile a minute about 'Jos' coming to see her.

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><p>Like? Let me know, we're just getting started!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Hello all of my faithful readers, and welcome to the new readers. There will be an update appox. every 3 days so work with me here. I think this chapter is a necessary one to get where I'm going, so be patient and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

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><p>From the time he woke up until it was time to get dinner ready, John realized that his daughter was actually nervous for the first time in a while. She would always be excited and giggling as she waited to do things, but today she was being oddly meticulous and subdued. Amelia had let him sleep in until almost 10, and all she did most of the day was eat her breakfast and lunch and play in her room. Right up until she could smell dinner cooking, she was calm. When he heard noise coming from her room for the first time all day, he smiled as he stood in the doorway, watching the way his baby girl was holding up dresses for her audience of stuffed animals. He thought she was way too young to pick up the indecisiveness of her outfits, but when he heard her ask her bear if Jos would like it, he had to intervene.<p>

"I think the purple one will be perfect mija," he said softly, and Amelia whipped her head around in surprise and throws the dresses behind her in embarrassment. He just looks down at her and she sighs, only picking up the purple one and going to climb onto her bed.

He watched as she threw the dress up first before climbing up, grabbing her baby moose from her pillows and hugging it to her chest as she watched him with big eyes.

"But daddy, I need to look pretty like Jos" she whispered, hugging the moose around its neck as she sits there. He comes to sit beside her and she places her head on his thigh, blowing out a breath as she turns so she's looking straight up at him. He ran his hand through her wavy hair as he remembered the conversation he'd had with the detective around noon.

_Picking up his cell phone, John begins pacing the length of his bedroom as he looks at the card in his hand. It has Jocelyn's number on it, but he can't help but be anxious. He'd felt electricity with her from the minute she was entertaining Amelia, but there was something guarded there that he couldn't see. He knew she had secrets just like he did, but not knowing what she was keeping from him made him want to work harder. It started out for Amelia, but he was just as excited about seeing her. He dialed the number quickly and paced rapidly as the phone rang. Just before he was about to hang up, an out of breath Jocelyn answered with a breathy "Carter" into the phone. He paused and smiled, curious a to what she had just been doing._

"_Hello Detective, I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"_

"_Actually Mr. Reese, I just finished breaking up a fight. How are you" she said laughingly as she sighed, running a hand through her messy hair but stopped and rolled her eyes when she realized he couldn't see her._

"_I can see you getting in the middle of a fight Detective, but try not to get hurt" he said sincerely, concerned that she may have hurt herself. She smiled at the concern in his voice, but dismissed it just as quickly as it had come._

"_Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black mister fireman…" she said, and smiled brightly as she heard him laugh deeply at the situation. Fusco was sitting at his desk and was just blatantly staring at her sitting on the phone. He motioned to her phone as she was talking, making hand signals that she ignored until he wrote on a piece of paper, "Who Are You Talking To?" She shook her head and walked out of the squad room and into the locker rooms to get a little more privacy as John continued to speak._

"_As long as you try I guess I can't say much. I was just calling to remind you of Amelia's invitation for tonight"_

_She wanted to bang her head against something because it was the only thing that she could think about as the clock wound down. She was looking forward to seeing them again for a multitude of reasons, Amelia being the main one._

"_I remember. I can actually cut out of here at 5 o'clock at the earliest" she said timidly, unsure as to whether he was asking if she was still coming or not. It unnerved her that she couldn't read him as well as she could most people. _

"_That's fine, dinner's at 6:30 if that's ok with you?" he stopped walking around and leant against the frame of his window, looking out onto the busy streets of New York. His loft was oddly quiet when Amelia decided to play in her room quietly. He kept watching the sun shining over the cars and buildings as he heard her move around._

"_Yeah, that works for me. I just have to stop by my house to change. On that note, does it matter what I wear?" he smiled mischievously as he thought of the possibilities she could have planned out. He'd have liked to see her hair up and off of her slender neck and shoulders, but he kept those thoughts to himself._

"_I have a feeling Mia will want to be in a dress and look pretty as she puts it. You can wear what you want honestly"_

_There were a few moments of silence as he just heard her breathing as she did the same with him until she blew out a breath and laughed. He laughed as well, liking the way she laughed and imagining the smile reaching her eyes. _

"_You know what? If she wants to look pretty in a dress, I think I can dig something up that will fit her standards. I take it you'll be in slacks or something of the sort?"_

"_Of course Detective. Amelia wouldn't let me out of my room unless she thought I was going to work in my uniform. She has too much knowledge for a four year old I swear…" he mumbles, shaking his head at the truth in his words. _

"_Please, call me Jocelyn when I'm not working, ok? That reminds me, when do you work again I know firemen usually have three days on and three off, but I'm not sure…"_

"_I go back to work tomorrow actually. Amelia will go stay with my brother while I'm gone"_

"_Oh ok…" she looked at the clock and notice that she had been gone for over ten minutes and Fusco was going to kill her or dump his paperwork on her desk if she didn't get back. She started to turn and leave as she spoke quickly, happy that he called her at all._

"_Sorry John, but I have to cut our conversation short. I have to finish paperwork if I want to get out of here on time" she says apologetically as her desk comes into view._

"_No worries Jocelyn, we'll see you tonight" he said lowly and she shivered involuntarily, wondering if that was a god given gift that his voice could get that low and smoky._

"_That you will. Goodbye John" she said as he snapped her phone shut and fell into her chair, smiling as the phone lay on her current open case file._

_He shut his cell phone and held it in his fist under his chin as he watched people move quickly through the streets, the cars honking and swerving before he moved away and began cleaning their loft._

Coming back to the present, he found Amelia looking up at him with squinted eyes and a smirk on her face. That look was one that rarely came out, but it never meant anything good, for him. She pulled away from him and got up, smiling the entire time as she walked around her room to her dresser, rummaging around in the bottom drawer and pulling random things out as she went. He looked on in amusement for a second before he heard her say "Ah hah!" when she found what she was looking for. Before she showed him, she threw all of the clothes back in half hazardously as she shoved it closed using her entire body, some clothes sticking out as she got up. She stood up in front of him and held up a necklace that she had made with the set he'd given her a couple of months before. He smiled as he took it into his hand and noticed the purple and pale blue teardrop beads in the center of the string chain. It was longer than a normal necklace and she looked timid as she waited for his reaction.

"This is really beautiful mija, is this for Jocelyn?" he asked knowingly, watching as her head tilted sideways in surrender as she dug her toes into the carpet. She nodded up at him, then reached out and took it from him.

"It's purple because I like purple, and blue for your favorite color daddy. So she won't forget us…" she trailed off quietly as she went to pick up and put away the other dress she'd thrown earlier. His heart ached at the vulnerable tone she took, afraid that Jocelyn was too good to be true. On some level, he felt the same. She seemed genuinely drawn to Amelia and she was absolutely beautiful, but there was something there he couldn't quite place. It wasn't an uncomfortable fear, more like a carefully kept secret. He of all people could understand that, but it didn't mean that Amelia's worry made it any easier to swallow. He walked up behind her and scooped her into his arms as she giggled and shrieked in surprise. He laughed at her as he threw her over his shoulder and walking around her room as she hit his back and laughed while trying unsuccessfully to get him to put her down. He finally dropped her on her bed as she tried to catch her breath as he made to leave her room.

"Go get ready honey, Jocelyn will be here in a little while. Then you can give her your necklace" she beamed at him and jumped off the bed to go take a bath by herself, because she had said she was a "big girl now". He smiled at the slamming of the bathroom door, going to change his clothes and finish dinner before the detective arrived.

**1 Hour Later**

As she walked off of the elevator, Jocelyn couldn't help but feel nerves and butterflies eat away at her stomach. She felt a little out of her element when he had told her that she could wear anything, but that'd he'd be wearing slacks. It worried her that she was over dressed in her hunter green silk shirt, her black pencil skirt, and her black heels. She'd gotten off work late and rushed to throw her hair up in a pretty neat ponytail and find something to wear, but the dresses she pulled out seemed too much like date attire, and she just wasn't there right now. John was a nice, generous, gorgeous man, but she didn't want to head in that direction when little Amelia had bonded so fast with her.

She slowed her stride and took a few deep breaths as she stood in front of his door and knocked. She could hear the little girl's quick footsteps as she made her way to the door, only to be opened by John. She had to pull every trick in the book to keep from drooling at the man in front of her, holding his daughter on his hip. The sleeves of his button up shirt were rolled to the elbow and was a deep blood red color that looked amazing on him with the first few top buttons undone. Little Amelia in his arms was in a pretty little purple sundress and was barefoot, trying to wiggle out of John's arms with an excited smile on her face. As he put her down, she launched herself at the detective's legs, almost bringing her down if it weren't for the fact that John was just a step behind Amelia and grabbed Carter's upper arms right as she swayed backwards and regained her balance. She smiled her thanks at him and he just looked at her, taking her in with his eyes quickly, but not quickly enough that she didn't notice. Amelia broke the spell by grabbing Jos's hands and dragging her into the loft and telling her that they had to have dinner before they could get to the fun stuff.

What Carter wasn't aware of was the way John hung back and watched their every move as they took a short tour of the living room and kitchen, making him realize that she fit in just fine with them after all.

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><p>Like it? I hope so, I've enjoyed working on this story :]<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

In honor of Valentine's Day (Single Awareness Day for a lot of us), I decided to update late the day before! It's a few hours shy of the 14th, which is when I'm supposed to upload, but this was too...I don't know. I just didn't want to keep it to myself another day. Enjoy, review, and let me know where this should go! What is it that YOU want to read...Feel free to let me know anything at all.

Sorry you miss certain things, but I think I make up for them as time goes on... ;)

******IMPORTANT: In this chapter, there are things mentioned that I have directly taken out of my family's life. Please be gentle if you choose to rub salt in those particular wounds.

Songs in order of appearance (for those that care):

- "When You Wish Upon A Star" - Jesse McCartney

- "Curacion" - Carlos Santana

- "Best of My Love" - The Emotions

- "Human Nature" - Michael Jackson

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><p>As John cleared the table, Jos tried and failed to help him clean up. He'd outright told her she wasn't allowed to help him clean up, and Amelia tag teamed with her father by pulling her away and taking her up the stairs to her room. Their dinner had been full of laughter and standard questions, but without the awkward pauses and silences. Amelia had kept them entertained with her tails of preschool and what they'd be doing the next day since she only went three times a week. John had joined in the conversation occasionally, but mainly let his daughter have her own interrogation as he watched. Jocelyn took it all in stride and answered her questions and shared her own stories, watching as Amelia hung on every word. As she pulled herself back into the present, she watched as Amelia jumped onto her bed and grabbed a stuffed animal, and motioned for Jos to sit next to her.<p>

"Jos, this is Leroy, he's my moose" she said lovingly as she squeezed the life out of him before handing him to her. Jocelyn picked up the moose and looked at its cute baby antlers and brown fur as she looked at its cute cartoony face.

"I love moose Amelia, they were my favorite animal growing up" Amelia's eyes grew wide as she nodded vigorously and hugged Leroy tighter as he was handed back.

"Daddy says Leroy's here to protect me while he's gone. Leroy's always with me" she said, moving his antlers back and forth as Jos just watched her. They sat for moment before Amelia got up on her knees and faced Jos, Leroy laying on her left as she pulled the necklace from the pocket on her dress. She pulled the string out and grabbed the beads in her hand as she looked at Jos with wide eyes.

"What's that sweetie?" Jos questioned gently, leaning to her side on her right arm as her left rested in her lap. Amelia smiled and stood up on her bed, steadily standing in front of the detective as she took the string and reached around her neck to give it to Jocelyn. John had snuck into the entry of Amelia's room a few minutes ago, and couldn't help the smile that overtook his face as Amelia tried to place the necklace around Jocelyn neck. Jocelyn helped her by holding her sides steady as the string was placed over her ponytail and on her neck. She smiled at Amelia as she grabbed the beads in one of her hands, them sitting right in her cleavage with ease. John wanted to swallow his tongue when Jocelyn looked at the beads and slipped then into her shirt and hugged Amelia, his daughter hugging her back fiercely as she smiled and closed her eyes. Amelia's eyes popped open and met her father's knowingly and watched him before she let go of Jocelyn, pretending her father wasn't there.

"So honey, when did you make this pretty necklace?" Jocelyn reached back into her shirt to pull out the beads and John had to run a hand over his face to keep from staring. He really did an amazing thing by putting a mirror at such a strategic angle.

"Daddy bought me a box of these, so I made one for you. I didn't want you to forget me" Amelia admitted, lying down in Jocelyn's lap, curling into a ball while Jos rubbed up and down her back soothingly before she spoke.

"Sweetheart, I won't forget you I promise. You remind me of someone I used to know, and now I have this necklace to remind me of you everyday"

"Really? You'll wear it all the time?" she asked astonished, her head turning into Jos's body as she smiled with all of her teeth. It shocked Jocelyn when she shot up and hugged her fiercely again, this time making them both topple over and laugh as they laid on their sides facing each other just smiling as Jos touched Amelia's hair. Amelia yawned and Jos smiled, getting up and telling Amelia that it was past her bedtime. Amelia immediately got up and changed into her pajamas, crawling under the covers as Jos went to sit besides her facing the door after she turned the light off. John had the common sense to move out of sight, as Amelia got ready for bed, feeling the need to be within earshot in case there was anything worth hearing. He felt bad that he was spying on them, but he just couldn't help it.

As Jos sat on top of Amelia's blankets, she slipped her heels off and crossed her ankles as Amelia leaned into her, Leroy resting on her lap as she grabbed Jos's hand and put it over her shoulders so she could snuggle deeper into her side. Jos smiled and leant into her, unconsciously kissing the side of her head as they sat in silence. Amelia turned her head forcing Jos to look down at her, the Goofy night light the only light in the dim room.

"Daddy usually sings me a song or reads me a bedtime story. Can you sing me a song Jos?" Amelia asked in a small voice, her hand finding Leroy and squeezing him to her chest. Jos smiled softly as she tried to think of a song she could sing the little girl, laughing softly as she thought of the perfect one.

"Ok sweetie, but you can't laugh at me alright?"

"I won't laugh I promise! Daddy says that too but he's really good too" she nodded confidently as she laid down and turned her head to face Jos as she had her head rubbed again. She was getting used to Jos rubbing her head it was a soothing gesture.

"_When you wish upon a star_

_Makes no difference who you are_

_Anything your heart desires_

_Will come to you_

_If your heart is in your dreams_

_No request is to extreme_

_When you wish upon a star_

_As dreamers do_

_Fate is kind_

_She brings to those who love_

_The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing_

_Like a bolt out of the blue_

_Fate steps in and sees you through_

_When you wished upon a star_

_Your dreams come true_

_If your heart is in your dreams_

_No request is to extreme_

_When you wish upon a star_

_As dreamers do_

_When you wish upon a star_

_Your dream comes true" _

Jos trailed off as she heard the little girls breathing even out, moving her arm slightly off of her so she could get up without waking her. She stood up with her heels dangling in one hands as she used the other to tuck the blanket around Amelia before leaving. She heard John come in as she was getting up, but ignored him until she turned towards the door to leave the room.

"Next time you want to spy on someone, make sure they can't see you in the mirror too" she murmured as she slid by him, laughing quietly as she heard him chuckle, the sound fading as she made her way into the living room. As she put her heels next to the rack where her jacket was hung, andd he came out and leaned against the doorframe of the living room, simply looking at her as she pretended to be going through her phone.

"Does your phone have music on it Jocelyn?" she looked up at him puzzled, but nodded anyway as he smiled and made his way towards her. She knew he was going to ask her to see it, and she didn't have it in her to refuse. It was just music, how bad could it be?

"Yeah, go ahead and take a look" she handed over the phone as she went over to sit on his couch, a bottle of red wine, a glass, and a beer resting in front of her. She smirked at his back and shook her head as she poured herself a glass, leaning back into the comfortable sofa as he takes her phone over to his impressive hidden stereo in what she thought was a cabinet. She smiled at the guitar opening as he plugged in her phone, immediately recognizing the song as it played and her smile softened and her eyes fluttered closed. John just watched the way her body relaxed and practically felt her ease into a state of happiness. He went to sit beside her on the sofa and grabbed his beer, taking a sip as she held her glass delicately in her left hand, her right one sitting on her lap. John angled his body towards her and watched as the music took her somewhere away from here. She suddenly opened her eyes and blushed prettily, ducking her head and taking a sip of her wine as the song changed from the seductive melody to an upbeat song from her childhood.

She looked at him, but he was looking toward the stereo with a smile, one that rested mostly in his pale blue eyes. He turned back towards her and took her glass out of her hand and rested their drinks on the table as he stood up, holding his hand out toward her. She stared at it dumbly as he rolled his eyes, asking her to dance with him. She continued to stare at him before shaking her head no, saying that she really didn't want to.

"Aww, come on Detective Carter, I'm sure it can't be that bad" he mocked, knowing that she would concede when he saw the fire in her eyes simmer down to a playful challenge. She stood up and grasped his left hand as he spontaneously twirled her as she laughed softly. He took each of her hands in his own as they did quick steps to the beat of the song, the smile on Jocelyn's face the most mesmerizing he's seen from her so far. He pulled her in closer as they kept up the quick movement of their feet before he spoke.

"You're face may crack from that gorgeous smile Detective…" he teased, watching as she tilted her head back and giggled, the sound surprising him as he watched the way she exposed her neck and a considerable amount of cleavage to him. He hungrily devoured her skin in his mind, wondering if her skin tasted like the subtle vanilla and coconut scent he picked up when her hair moved. He quickly snapped to attention when she brought her head forward again, her hands swinging with his as the music started to wind down. She kept smiling as she released him and sat back on the couch, crossing one leg over the other as she slouched relaxingly as she waited for him to join her. He just shook his head amused as he followed her lead, slipping into the opposite corner of the couch and turning his body towards her. His arm came to rest on the back of the couch, his fingertips a few inches away from her right shoulder. She quickly uncrossed her legs and shifted slightly as she pulled one leg beneath her as the other rested on the floor. He watched, as she got comfortable, her arm bending on the back of the couch as well as it supported her head as she looked at him and spoke. The song had changed again, this time to Michael Jackson.

"I take it you chose my 'Home' mix," she observed, her left hand resting in her lap as she looked down.

"That I did, it seemed like we could agree on a lot of the songs on that one" he replied, watching her as he waited for her to speak again.

"Well, obviously you know that the first song was by Carlos Santana…that was actually a recent addition to be honest. But The Emotions, that's a group I've been listening to forever" she whispered, her eyes glassy as she shook her head and continued.

"When I was a kid, I used to love to watch my mother cook, so I'd just sit at the table and watch as she moved around like she didn't even have to give it much thought. My house was never quiet, so we always had a radio going when we did anything, and cooking was no different. She'd put on the radio and it was all R&B for Ma. Anyway, this specific time was the day before my seventh birthday and she was making my favorite cake because I had soccer practice the next day. I remember every time that song came on, my mom would stop whatever she was doing and grab my hands, bringing me off my stool to dance around the kitchen with her. When she was cooking you just didn't interrupt, so when she dropped everything to dance with me, I felt like the center of her universe…" she trailed off, a single tear sliding from the corner of her right eyes and going down her wrist. John wanted to hold her, but her eyes were happy despite the tears.

"Ma wasn't known for showing the soft side of her, but she did when it came to me. I was her baby, and she did any and everything for me. That's why, despite everything, I can't do anything but laugh and smile through this song. I even got her to dance with me to this song at home after I graduated from high school. I was class of '98, and I had told her that I'd never get too old to dance with her. I think that's the more memorable of the two incidents because she cried through the entire dance, but was laughing and had me crying by the end too," she said in a strangled whisper, wiping the tears that were flowing down her cheeks faster now. She sniffled and smiled at him, as she was able to breath properly again.

"I have no idea why I just told you that…" she said embarrassed, picking up a pillow to hold on her lap. He smiled at her again, this time reaching out to put a hand over hers much like he did yesterday at lunch.

"When did she pass?" he asked gently, feeling the way she tensed beneath his hand. She sighed and pulled her hand away to rub the left side of her neck as she thought about it.

"It'll be 10 years this June, she passed away when I was 22"

They sat in silence as she reached forward for her wine, her and John drinking in silence as her mix started over again. She put down her half full glass of wine and got up, smiling her apology as she moved to put her heels back on. He just sat and watched her movements as she leaned over to put her heels on, and he swore there was a higher power trying to kill him. She looked over her shoulder at him and stood up straight, him following her to the door to help her with her coat.

"I appreciate you singing Mia to sleep," he whispered to her back, her coat going on as she turned to him. His eyes danced mischievously as she flushed, her neck heating up at the obvious praise in his voice.

"No big, she made it easy for me. It's the song I sing for Boo so I thought…" she trailed off, shrugging as he reached out unexpectedly to hug her. She stiffened for a moment before bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck loosely as his hands wound around her back. She had been trying to avoid thinking about him the last 48 hours, but this man had a way of getting under her skin in the sweetest way possible.

"Still, I appreciate it. My brother usually gets a fight when I'm gone, so you must be amazing for her to be so compliant" he spoke into her hair, the words making her shiver as he pulled a little ways away from her only to lean in again. She knew he was going to kiss her, so she let him lean in before she panicked at the last second and turned so he got the corner of her mouth again. He pulled back, hurt evident in his eyes as she frantically looked between his eyes and settled on staring at his chest as his arms loosened around her.

"John, I barely know you. There's something about you I'd like to get to know but…Amelia thought I was going to forget her after 48 hours. I don't want to hurt that little girl because I don't know what I want yet" she said, removing one of her hands to grab the collar of the right side of his shirt.

"When I do, you'll be the first to know, but for now…Can we just keep it light?" she asked, practically begging him with her eyes to let this slide for now. He sighed and nodded, kissing her cheek before pulling away from her completely. He opens the door and watches as she steps out, only to turn back and stare at him a moment. He refused to react as she came back and cradled his head in her hands, bringing him to level with her as she kissed the corner of his mouth, getting a sigh from him as she pulled away.

"You're one confusing woman Detective" he states, leaning against the door as she turns to walk away. He hears her laugh as she waits for the elevator, the doors sliding open as she responds to him.

"I am Mr. Reese, but I think you have me all figured out already" she winks at him as she steps on the elevator, her laughter cut off by the doors closing behind her. He shook his head and walked back inside before running his hands over his face again in frustration. Her music was still playing he noticed a minute later, and she had forgotten her phone. He smiled as he unplugged it and held it in his hand.

_I guess I'll just have to drop it off before work tomorrow…_he grins as he walks into his bedroom, looking forward to seeing Detective Carter in uniform bright and early.

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><p>Enjoy it? I hope so, I aim to please and keep you coming back for more! Let me know how I'm doing.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Hello everyone!. I know I've been MIA, but I had some things I had to take care of. I know this chapter may seem a bit...ordinary...but the next chapter will be more interesting I swear. Read on and give me some feedback, I actually use it! Hope you like it and keep coming back. Oh, and the song that I've been writing to as of late and kinda of inspired this ch. and the next is the song "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor. It's the song on a POI fanvid, so go check it out.

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><p>Riding the elevator down to the lobby, Jocelyn couldn't keep the grin off of her face. She sunk against the wall on the way down and leant against it just breathing, wondering what exactly she had gotten herself into. She pushed off the wall as she made her way outside to hail a taxi, smiling as she gave the cabbie her address and got it. She leaned back against the seat, closing her eyes and reviewing the entire evening in her mind. It was harmless fun for the most part, innocent in every action even with her and John's almost kiss. It wasn't that she didn't want it to happen, but there was something about him that still made her think that he was too go to be true. She reached into her pocket for her phone, and panicked when it wasn't there. She went through every pocket a few times then at heavily against the seat as she remembered that it was still hooked up to Jon's stereo. She swore as the cabbie stopped, looking at her expectedly as she sat in the car in front of her apartment.<p>

"Yeah yeah, just calm down" she mumbled under her breath as she paid him and jumped out, angrily stalking into the building and up to her apartment.

As she walked into her apartment and peeled off her coat, going over to play her messages as she decided how to find his number and ask for her phone back. As she was changing her clothes and listening to her neighbor asking her to watch Boo Friday night, she sighed and walked back into her living room, freezing when she heard John's voice on her answering machine.

"Hey Joss, It's John. You left your phone here, as I'm sure you're aware of by now, but I can bring it by the precinct in the morning on my way to work. I have to drop off Amelia with my brother first, but I can be there around 8 if that works for you. Give me a call back if it doesn't, if not I'll just drop it off. My cell number is…"

She let him ramble off his number, reminding herself to save the message as she sat on her couch smiling again. As she started to think about her day tomorrow, realizing that tomorrow was the Thursday that ADA Brian Curtis was coming by, she started to panic. She knew that Brian liked her, and her was the type of confident ADA that would make it clear that he was pursuing her. That one date had made it clear of his intentions, but she had told him that she just didn't have the time. Now with John coming by, there wasn't any way to avoid them running into one another, and she buried her head in a pillow as she flopped over. If Brian was anything like he always was, she may have to break up another fight in the morning. She sighed as she got up and plopped on her bed, the thought of tomorrow morning making her groan as she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.

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><p>Walking into the precinct at 7:30, Carter tried to calm her nerves as she strode over to her desk. She was one of the only people around since it was an hour and a half before the next shift began, Fusco not coming until almost nine o'clock, knowing he'd make it in time, if just barely. She smoothed her hands over her maroon button up, her hands going over the tops of her black slacks as she looked down at herself with a sigh. She knew she had put a little bit of extra effort this morning because John was coming by, but she couldn't help the voice in her head saying that this was going to be a complete disaster. She knew Brian, and if John was anything like he was in the taqueria on Tuesday (yeah, she knew what he was doing), this was going to be something just short of a blood bath. She ran to the bathroom in an effort to calm herself, but ended up critiquing herself in the mirror instead. She pulled her hair up off of her neck like she had last night and kept fidgeting with it, finally deciding that leaving it down and parted off to the side was the least amount of effort. She pulled her blazer off of her shoulders, feeling suffocated but eventually huffing and putting it back on, bracing herself to walk back out to her desk. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror and walked out, feeling the air leave her lungs as she saw who was seated at her desk, fiddling with her computer.<p>

"Brian, what have I told you about sitting at my desk?" she sighed, sitting down as he got up, leaning his hip against the side of her desk as he smiled. It wasn't that he was unattractive, but it was just that she didn't feel a real spark of anything other than friendship between them. She shuffled through a few papers as he stared at her, finally giving up on ignoring him as he opened his mouth.

"Joss, why the hostility? I thought you liked my company?" he pouted, and she just rolled her eyes as she turned her chair to face him.

"Brian, you know I like talking to you when the occasion arises, but you know that there's never going to be more than a friendship" she said trailing off softly, trying not to wince at the fallen expression on his face. She had wanted to avoid this conversation all together, but it just wasn't her morning. Jut as she was about to try to rephrase her feelings, she heard the doors open, and reflexively she turned around.

"Joss!" Amelia squealed, launching herself at Carter as she crouched down to catch her. Amelia hung on and squeezed her; Carter's smile widening as she squeezed back, before her father came into view.

"Nice to see you again Detective, I take it you found Amelia?" he said as he tried to hold in his laughter, his daughter still not relinquishing her hold on Jocelyn. Jocelyn decided to just pick her up and put her on her hip, Amelia content to be held and smiled brightly at her father. He came closer and patted Amelia's head, getting even closer to kiss her head as his eyes met Carter's. She sucked in a breath as he got that much closer, smiling nervously as he pulled away but stayed close enough to be within Amelia's reach. As Brian cleared his throat, all three of them whipped around to face him, only Carter seeming to have a guilty expression.

"Brian, this is John Reese and his daughter Amelia, John this is ADA Brian Curtis" she introduced awkwardly, John holding his hand out politely for Brian to shake, but Brian just looked back and forth between John and his hand before begrudgingly shaking it. Carter glared at Brian for acting childish, but Amelia pulled her attention away.

"Joss, I get to go see Uncle Harold today!" she exclaimed, and Jocelyn smiled at her, pulling her closer as she spoke.

"Really? Is Uncle Harold lots of fun?" Amelia nodded her head emphatically up and down, smiling and talking a mile a minute about her favorite uncle and how much they were going to do. John and Brian looked on, John smiling as they spoke, but Brian looked irritated, as he was no longer the center of attention.

"Jocelyn, are you free for lunch today?" Brian interrupted, Carter's gaze shifting back to him, and Amelia looked at Brian with open hostility that John had never seen from her before. She just stared at him in what he thought was anger as she hugged Jocelyn tighter, burying her face in her neck after a moment. Carter's attention went back to Amelia, assuming Amelia was talking to her because she was nodding and rubbing her back as she spoke into her hair. After a minute Jocelyn looked back at Brian, her eyes relatively vacant.

"I'm sorry Brian, but I can't. Plus, I don't really think that's a good idea…" she trailed off, looking anywhere but at the hurt look on Brian's face and the smug look on John's. She didn't know why she turned him down to be honest, but with John there it just seemed like a monumental mistake. She didn't want to hurt Brian's feelings, but if it was between him and John and Amelia…

"Since when did it become a bad idea Detective?" he said coldly, eyeing her as she looked anywhere but him. It hurt to know that she'd said she wasn't ready to date, but seemed to get pretty cozy with the Reese family so quickly.

"Look Brian, I really am sorry…"

"Save it Detective, you don't owe me a damn thing"

"Don't insult her because your ego's bruised" John said as he stepped slightly in front of Carter and his daughter, looking down at the ADA from his two inch advantage. Brian just smiled sarcastically and stalked out, refusing to say anything as the doors slammed shut behind him. Carter let out a deep breath he thinks she had been holding, putting Amelia on the floor as she snuck her hand into his pocket to grab her phone from him. He swung around to face her, the smile returning to his face as she waved the electronic in front of him.

"I need to get working John, but it was nice to see you and Amelia this morning" she says softly, looking him in the eye as Amelia successfully seats herself in Jocelyn's chair and kicks off the drawers to spin herself in boredom. They both just watch and laugh, him leaning in to give her a genuine hug goodbye, her arms automatically wrapping around his waist as she leaned her head into his neck.

"I really am glad I got to see you" she murmured into his neck, her lips barely ghosting over the sensitive skin under his ear, making him smile and shudder involuntarily. He pulled away and just nodded, brushing a kiss across her cheek as he stepped around her to grab Amelia. Just as the little girl was about to protest, he brought her over to the detective to give her a hug goodbye, and Amelia whispered something to Jocelyn that he couldn't hear. Instead of asking, he noticed the way Jocelyn smiled and reached into her shirt and pulled out the necklace Amelia had given her last night, and almost dropped Amelia when she hugged Carter fiercely almost coming out of his grasp. He pulled her back and she looked over his shoulder as he walked away, feeling her weight shift as she waved goodbye to Jocelyn one last time.

"Daddy, can Joss come live with us?" she asked innocently, and he couldn't help the smile that broke out onto his face.

"We'll see mi hija, she has to want to"

"You're silly Daddy, Joss loves us" she stated matter-of-factly, her eyes rolling as she wrapped her arms around his neck as he loaded her into the car. _If it were only that simple…_

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><p>Like? Let me know what you think I need in here, I'm all for some suggestions... :]<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

I'm really not sure if more than a handful of people are even reading this anymore, so I'm not entirely sure if it would be worth my time to continue. I love it, but if people prefer other types of fics, I can focus my attention elsewhere. Anywho, here's my next installment. Hope you enjoy it and review, letting me know if you like where this is headed (or if it should just be done)

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><p>Laying back on the couchbed thing with his arm over his face in his older brother's living room, he felt like he was in therapy. Even as a teenager with Harold being ten years older than him, he always felt as if his brother had this knowledge that John himself never seemed able to obtain. He always went to his brother when there was something on his mind, but today he had tried to back out of the room and claim he had to work at nine when he really didn't start until ten. That little white lie that he had to start earlier to both Harold and Carter was just to make sure he'd be able to leave if he needed too, because once they started talking, he knew he wasn't getting away anytime soon. Groaning and turning his face into the couch cushions, John tried to drown out his daughter's shriek at the new toys Uncle Harold bought her, and the way his bother just kept staring at him in an invasive way he always had.

"Really Harold, you're spoiling her" he mumbled into a pillow, keeping his back to his brother as he heard a slight sigh escape him. He knew Harold knew that he'd tell him what was wrong with him, but it was never easy.

"Despite what you may think John, I'm allowed" he waited a beat, but when John continued to stay turned away from him, he continued, "I'm her godfather, who else is going to do it?" he let the question hang, a smug smirk on his face when John turned over, looking at him flatly.

"Right, and the fact that you make a couple million a year has nothing to do with it" he retorted sarcastically, watching as his brother's gaze remained steady, just watching him until he cracked. It was a game they always played, and he usually won.

"Look Finch" John began, calling Harold by his nickname he'd given him, "I just don't know what to do about her" he rushed out, sounding more like a whoosh of air rather than words. Harold was well versed in nervous-John speak and understood nonetheless.

"Well, I got the idea that Mia was relatively well behaved…" he trailed off purposely; earning him a frustrated groan from his little brother.

"Finch, work with me here. It's Carter"

Harold continued to look at him, his gaze never wavering as he watched John squirm. It had always been like this, ever since John was a kid. He'd come to his brother for help, and he'd sit there until he started to work the problem out himself. It annoyed him and felt as if he weren't helping at all before, but after having a child he was beginning to understand the point.

"Harold, I like this woman. She's sharp, intelligent, absolutely beautiful, and Amelia loves her already. It's been three fucking days Finch, it feels right but it also feels like I don't know what I'm doing" he admitted, kicking at an imaginary ball on the living room floor. It had always been something John did, if he hated all of the attention, he'd pretend he wasn't as worried as he was.

"John, you are allowed to be concerned, but you are concerned for the wrong reasons. Be worried if Mia hated her, if she wasn't nearly as intelligent as she is, or was selfish and cruel"

"That's just it! She's a goddamn Detective Finch, and in the rare spare time she has she watched her neighbor's kid so their mother can work. What is there about her that I don't like? The fact that I want to almost crawl into her skin when she's around me" he whispered, his voice sounding much like a teenager than the 38 year old man he was. Harold had only had to deal with that voice one before as an adult, and it was with Jessica. His brother had never really been in love with anyone else before, and this wasn't nearly as impossible as John made it seem.

"Reese" Harold started, drawling a reluctant smile from his brother. They tended to revert back to childhood nicknames when it was just them and they were trying to figure out what to do with their life.

"This woman sounds like she's almost too good to be true" he stated, earning himself a fierce glare in return. Harold held his hands up in a sign of surrender as he got up from his desk and sat in the armchair to the right of the couch, both of them now facing the doorway.

"I said almost, but I don't know her, so I can't really give my opinion either way" he said pointedly, and John dropped his eyes in embarrassment. He was talking about Carter like she was his girlfriend, and his brother hasn't even seen her yet! He sighed and looked back up at him, leaning against the back of the couch as he stared at the ceiling for a minute. His brother waited patiently until he spoke, Harold always winning the battle of patience.

"Finch, Mia asked if Jocelyn could come live with us because she said Jocelyn already loved us"

"John, are you afraid of a woman because Amelia is attached to her?" he asked worried, questioning John's sanity.

"NO. I just…I tried to kiss her Harold. She turned away from me at the last second and it hurt. But she ended up coming back and just kissed me right next to my lips, and said that she just wasn't ready yet. This morning, there was an ADA that seemed to know her really well and…I don't want to have to fight for her attention"

Harold just looked at John, who still refused to meet his eyes and instead keep staring at the ceiling again. He was beginning to think his brother was developing an anxiety disorder or something of the sort, at least with the way he was stressing over this detective. From what he'd heard so far, she seemed like the kind of woman John should want around himself and Amelia, but instead he's running in circles scared.

"John, you know I love you but there's nothing I can do to help" he stated simply, finally getting a reaction from him as his head snapped to meet Harold's apologetic gaze. Harold averted his eyes and went back to his desk and computer, feeling John tracking him with his eyes the entire time. The silence was tense until John finally snapped, pacing the length of the couch like a caged tiger.

"Harold, I need your help here dammit! I want her so badly it hurts and _this_ is when you decide you can't be of any help?" he asked flabbergasted as he stopped and stared at the back of his brother's head. Trust Harold to be indifferent and unattached when it mattered. Wait, it _mattered_. He just shook his head and dragged his hands over his face, trying not to laugh. It was just like Harold to wait until he worked out his problems on his own, and this was no different. He smiled and walked over to him, standing directly behind him and his computer.

"You knew I'd figure it out eventually didn't you?" he asked rhetorically, bracing his hands on the top of the back of the chair. Harold just sighed and continued typing, shaking his head before he spoke.

"I don't know what you're talking about John. You're going to be late for work if you don't leave soon" John sighed and laughed softly, making his way to the door as he heard the quick pitter patter of little feet before Amelia launched herself at him like she always did when he had to leave. He swung her up and into his arms, her resting on his left hip as her little arms strangled him in a fierce hug.

"Please don't go Daddy…" she whimpered in his neck, and it broke his heart to hear the tears in her voice. She hadn't been this bad in a while, and he couldn't understand what brought on the waterworks this time. He saw Harold get up and come over to them, looking concerned. John motioned with his eyes that he'd take care of it, but Harold still stayed watching only a few feet away. As he felt hot wet tears on his neck, he began to rub her back and mumble things in Spanish in her ear, but even that didn't calm her. He was used to the sobbing that she did when she cried, but these were silent tears that sliced at his insides as he stood in the doorway. He remembered Jocelyn telling him about her mother, her tears silent as they fell down her cheeks and he tried to get Amelia to look at him. She just shook her head and buried her face deeper into his neck as she continued to cry. His eyes were glassy with emotion as he looked at his brother helplessly, trying to rock his daughter as she kept crying silently.

Harold grabbed John's phone from his pocket and began looking through it, and John just looked on like he'd gown a second head, unable to understand just what it was that he was doing. Harold kept searching until his eyebrow rose, turning the phone towards John so he could see the display, Carter's cellphone number blinking across the screen.

"Is this the person you were talking about?" Harold inquired, and John nodded confused as he dialed the number and watched John and Amelia while it rang.

"_Carter"_

"Hello, this is Harold…" his voice trailed off as he rounded the corner into the dining room, John just standing there staring stupidly after him. His brother always seemed to amaze him, and this was one of those times he'd thank him for later. A few minutes later he came out, handing John his phone as he reached out for Amelia, whispering in her ear before he picked her up. Her head shot up as Harold pulled away, her eyes wide with excitement as she reached for Harold, jumping out of her father's arms as she clung to him, this time happy instead of in tears. John just kept staring at him until he met his eyes knowingly.

"Your friend Detective Carter said she was able to spare a half hour to come and see Mia at lunch. Go to work John, she'll be just fine" Harold assured him, putting Amelia down as she ran out of the room, her "Bye Daddy!" barely able to be made out as her feet slapped against the hardwood floors back to "her" room. He smiled and shook his head again, his daughter just as infatuated with Jocelyn as he was.

"Thanks Harold, I don't-"

"John, it's nothing. It was selfish really, because now I get Detective Carter to myself for a half hour at the very least" he said, his eyes indicating that there was something he was up to. He was mischievous when he wanted to be, and it was a scary thing to be the subject of it. Not many saw that side of him, but there was a devious side to Harold.

"Harold…" he warned, his eyes, darting back and forth before setting over his brother's shoulder.

"You act as if I'm going to say something embarrassing about you in your absence. I'm just glad I now get to meet the woman that's captured my brother and nieces heart"

John had nothing to say to that, but he kept opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to say something, anything. When nothing came out, he picked up his keys and started to walk out as he waved goodbye.

"Don't worry John, your girls are safe with me" Harold called after him, and his steps faltered as he thought about what his brother had said. He smiled to himself, starting to think that they were both his girls. Whether or not Jocelyn was actually his, she was still someone he cared about deeply. He turned back to Harold briefly and smirked, raising an eyebrow in a silent question as his brother answered him aloud.

"As if you weren't thinking the same thing John"

John turned away and kept walking to his truck, unable to say anything back because his brother had been right; his girls are safe with Harold.

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><p>My dear reader, I hope this was something you liked. If not, let me know. I welcome feedback of all kinds.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

I am stating with complete confidence that I have the best readers. Ever. I go so much positive feedback and it seriously shocked me that there were so many people that read this story and enjoys what I'm doing with it. I was so damn surprised that my phone kept showing review alerts and there were quite a few people that took the time to make long detailed reviews that helped me form my ideas as I continue this.

I just...I can't even tell you how grateful I am for all of the people that encouraged me to continue with this. I want to hug you all because I was feeling like crap the couple of days before and the day I posted the last chapter and the feedback lifted my spirits. Just thank you for caring enough to take a minute and let me know you are reading this, it meant more than you'd know. Enough with the mushy crap, enjoy this chapter and the next should be up by Thursday at the absolute latest.

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><p>Walking up the stairs of the impressive brownstone, Carter felt the little handle on her nerves she had begin to fall apart. It had been three days since she met John and Amelia, and here she was going to his brother's house to make his daughter feel better. She blew out a deep breath and ran her left hand through her hair, tugging at it gently to relieve a bit of the uneasiness that was eating away at her. She liked feeling wanted over feeling needed, but she felt as if nothing was going to end up the way she wanted. She liked John, who wouldn't, but she wanted to trust him and that was the problem. She'd been down that road, falling in love with a man and thinking he was her one and done, and finding out that it was just a web of lies and deceit. She wasn't fond of getting attached so fast, but something about Amelia reminded her of someone she used to know. She stood at the door and knocked gently, waiting until she heard the locks move and a man only slightly taller than her open the door and just stare at her.<p>

"Hi I'm Detective Jocelyn Carter, are you-"

"Hello Detective, do come in" he said, opening the door wider and walking away from it, leaving her to look perplexed as she followed him in, shutting the door and hearing the echo of her heels on the hardwood floor as she made her way to sit on his couch.

"I'm sorry Detective, I'm Harold, we spoke on the phone"

"Yeah I'm sorry I couldn't come any sooner, there was some paperwork that had to be submitted this morning" she apologized, sitting properly as she watched the way he watched her. He seemed calm as he sunk farther into the armchair and placed his hands in his lap.

"I know that I called you to sooth Amelia, but I must confess that it wasn't the entire truth" he replied, picking imaginary lint off of his pants as he apologized to her. She smiled slightly, relaxing onto the couch as he looked back at her, feeling much more at ease because of his honesty.

"It's fine Harold, if I may call you that," she paused waiting for his nod of consent before she continued, "I really didn't expect you to ask me here because Amelia was upset. My first thought actually was that something was wrong with John" she admitted quietly, this time she was the one playing with her finger, taking a breath before she met his eyes.

"I can assure you that John is quite alright. Saddened that Amelia was in tears before he left, but relatively ok for the most part Detective"

"Please call me Jocelyn Harold, I'm only Detective when it's business"

Harold looked at her again, a slight smirk on his face as he took her in, her black trench coat covering her standard black slacks and black button up shirt, a dark red scarf around her neck. She didn't seem to be someone that would take advantage of his bother and niece, but he knew appearances could be incredibly deceiving.

"Ok Jocelyn, what is it about you that has my brother in knots?" he asked suddenly, amused by the embarrassed expression on her face as she shoved a piece of the hair that fell in her face gently behind her ear, smiling slightly as she looked up at Harold, her ears feeling hot at the all too knowing expression on his face.

"I think…that you'd have to ask John that. I wasn't aware there was anything to be in knots about" she explained, unsure as to whether or not she should say anything to his brother or not.

"Well Jocelyn, I'm well aware that John cares about you, and that doesn't even begin to explain the bond you've been able to forge with Mia so fast" he explained, and her shoulders dropped as she started to understand what it felt like to be on the other side of the interrogation table. She smirked at the thought and continued on speaking.

"It was easy to get along with Amelia, she reminds me a lot of someone I used to know" she smiles sadly, thankful that he just nods his head in understanding. Usually he felt as if people were doing that just to be polite, but it felt genuine to her, as if he understood somehow.

"I'm glad you two have found one another, it seems to have opened up a new side of Amelia, one that's thoughtful and genuine beyond what either John or I have taught her"

"I appreciate that, but I can't take any credit because it just sort of happened. I'm glad it did, but you and John are the true stable figures in her life" she said with confidence, meeting his eyes convincingly as he nodded once again. He could see a spark of something in there, a fire within her that would be something John was drawn to. She was of the same thread, compassionate and caring with a shield that kept out those that aren't willing to really see what they have to offer.

"I relish in your honesty Detective, and the fact that you are true when you say things. You say exactly what you feel, it's rather interesting I must say" he explained, enjoying the small smile he had as she shook her head and laughed lightly, the sound genuine and soft rather than fake and trying.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. I just think life's too short to say anything other than what we mean when it really matters. Everyone always says that they wished they could have said something after an event happens, but I don't think I could live with knowing that I let an opportunity to happy pass me by. I don't want to be that person" she says, watching the way Harold stares at her, this time a warmth in his gaze that he'd been missing before.

"I couldn't agree more. There's something to trying to get the most out of, for example, the ones that love you and you love in return?" he asked innocently, watching the way she stared at him, reading between the lines of his words. She nodded slightly, tipping her head to the side as he nodded back, aware that she understood his message loud and clear.

"With that being said Jocelyn, are you ready to make Mia's day?" he said as he stood up, having her follow him down the hall to where she could hear a TV on, but no movement from inside. As he opened the door just enough to poke his head in, she could see the way Amelia was laying in a fetal position, looking bored as she stared at the TV.

"Mia, how are you feeling?" he spoke softly, hiding Jocelyn behind him as Mia's eyes swung to him. He could tell she was on the verge of tears again, her little blue eyes red rimmed and her nose and cheeks pink. She sat up on her bed, pulling her knees up to her chest as they stared at one another, Amelia's little sniffle the only thing that made any sound at all. It broke Carter's heart to hear the little girl near tears, and instinctively she place a hand on the back of Harold's right shoulder, him moving aside as Amelia came into full view. He smiled as he moved into the room, immediately moving in and off to the side as Amelia turned toward the wall, missing Carter walking in. Carter slipped off her heels by the door as she walked over to Amelia and sat on the bed behind her, rubbing up and down her back softly as she felt Amelia sigh. She felt Amelia shift back towards her and she saw the way Amelia registered that it was Carter there and not Harold.

"Hi" Carter whispered, running her fingers through Amelia's hair as Amelia moved closer to Carter, placing her head in her lap as she sighed, Amelia's hand grabbing Carter's pants in her tiny fist. She wrapped an arm around Amelia as she rested her body against the headboard, supporting hers and Amelia's weight.

"Hi Joss" Amelia whispered, her eyes now glassy with tears as she looked up at her, the tears starting to fall as she silently began crying again. Carter's heart fell to pieces as she picked the little girl up and placed her entire body on her thighs and legs. Amelia curled into a ball again on top of Joss as she cried, Harold silently coming closer to place a blanket over them as he backed out of the room. Joss sighed as she sat and lightly rocked Amelia back and forth until she fell asleep, looking at the clock on the wall and sighing as she thought about shifting out from Amelia before Harold appeared in the doorway.

"Detective I hope you don't mind, but I made a call to the precinct and let them know that you had food poisoning from your lunch. They let me know that you had the weekend free and that they hoped you felt better" he said as his eyes shifted around the room, avoiding hers as he looked down at Amelia's sleeping form sprawled over the detective's lap. Carter couldn't help but smile softly as she shifted Amelia sideways so only her head rested on her lap.

"Thank you Harold, I don't-"

"There's something about you detective that she trusts. I understand she misses John but it's never this bad. Please don't thank me, I should be thanking you for calming her and making her feel safe I suppose"

"My father was a police officer. I remember when he'd leave for work and my mother used to say I'd just sit and cry all morning after he'd left. I was just a kid, but I think there's just something about your dad walking out the door that can tear at you at the most random times" she whispered, looking up to blink back tears as Amelia woke up, rubbing her eyes with little fists as she looked up to Joss and smiled. Amelia jumped up and hugged her much like she had that morning, and Joss sagged with relief that the little girl was back to her normal self.

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><p>I know this was anti climactic compared to the last chapter, but next chapter is a HUGE step up. I suggest you hang in there, things are about ot get really interesting.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone. For all of you that watched Baby Blue, and even for those of you that didnt...CARTER. JESUS. (and no I don't mean Caviezel lol). Anyway, here's my update as promised. I have so many feelings right now.

NOTE: Read the chapter and enjoy, but review with some predictions or ideas for future...scenes. You'll understand once you've finished reading. I'm thinking 2 more chapters, but I could be persuaded to add a few more though...we'll see

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><p>It had been four months since she met the Reese family, and tonight was their weekly dinner at John's loft, Harold making a habit of being at dinner. She was glad she was able to spend so much time with John and his family, and it was slowly starting to make her realize that caring for people beyond the obvious wasn't so scary after all. It was easy to love them in a normal friend kind of way, but with her and Amelia being so close so fast, her head spun at the amount of time she'd spend tucking her into bed or calling on the days her father was away just to say goodnight. It was a warm feeling, a feeling like she had a purpose beyond that of a detective, and she wasn't sure she really ever wanted something like that until now.<p>

Thoughts like these always ended up swirling in her mind as she rode the elevator up to John's floor, and it always made her smile when she saw him because she was becoming more comfortable with seeing him in a romantic light. She had specifically worn a dress tonight, a dress she felt beautiful in without looking too dressed up for the night. It was a hunter burgandy dress with long sleeves with a boat neck that was wide enough that it bared just the tops of her shoulders before the sleeves started. It was a formfitting dress, but it hit just above knee length with simple black heels that made her feel desirable. She wanted to show him that she was up to the idea of beginning something between them, and she was anxious to see if he was still as interested in her as he seemed to be.

As the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, she pulled her trench coat closer to her body as she tightened the belt, smiling as she turned the corner to make her way down the hallway before she stopped dead. She froze half around the corner and leaned against the wall, watching as a blonde woman exited John's loft, turning to him and running a well-manicured finger down his arm as he smiled at her. The woman smiled back, flipping her long hair over her shoulder as she leaned closer to him, giving him a kiss on the lips. The air left her lungs the second she saw that woman kiss him, but like a car accident, she couldn't look away just yet. He held that woman like he'd held her dancing in his living room, his hand was around her back and one rested under her chin, and she couldn't bare to watch anymore. She turned against the wall so they wouldn't see her and she tried to keep the tears from falling unsuccessfully. She tilts her head back and lets it lightly thump against the wall, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she stared at the ceiling.

She hadn't expected something like this to feel like someone tackled her through a window, falling a floor or two by the way it felt like she couldn't touch the ground and feel unwavering anymore. She pushed both of her hands through her hair, resting them on the back of her skull, forcing air into her lungs so the room would stop feeling like she'd just gotten off a rollercoaster. Her knees were weak as she tried to stand up, leading to her back being supported by the wall again as her tears subsided, doing her best with the mirror in her purse to look as normal as possible. She looked at herself and sighed, shaking her head sadly.

She had told herself that he was too good to be true, and she'd been willing that feeling to go away since they met. She knew she should ask him who that woman was, but rationality goes out the window when you feel like your heart has ripped out of your chest. She didn't feel like he owed her anything, because the fact of the matter was that they were friends. He wasn't her boyfriend, and she wasn't his girlfriend; she had no right to demand anything, she never had. He'd made his feelings clear those first few days, and she'd told him she wasn't ready yet because she wanted to make sure he was worth the risk. What did she end up with? None of the relationship she wanted, and yet gained all of the heartbreak of one anyway. She used her anger at the situation to her advantage, squaring her shoulders as she took even breaths as she made her way to his closed door. She knocked and wanted to cry all over again at the way his eyes lit up when he saw her. She averted her eyes and said hi, looking around him to say hi to Harold behind him. She knew the look on Harold's face, and he just stared at her as she stood in the doorway.

"Hi Joss" John said, reaching out to hug her as he always did, but this time she sidestepped him and managed to get around him and into the apartment. John turned around perplexed as she stood near his brother, giving him a nod as she stood in the living room.

"You okay?" he asked, and she just nodded, taking off her coat and walking over to put it on the coat rack, feeling his eyes bore into her back. She wanted to lash out at him, but the dress she wore had been to get a specific reaction and it worked. She just would have preferred he be available when she'd worn it.

"So Detective how's work?" Harold asks as she turns around, John's appreciative stare making her uncomfortable for the first time. She never met his eyes but instead looked at Harold, seeing the warning in his eyes as he spoke.

"It's work. Bad people and even worse situations" she said, leaning against the arm of the couch as John made to get near her. She smoothly walked to the hallway and looked back, the hurt in John's eyes unmistakable and it made her resolve harden.

"Where's Amelia? In her room?"

"Yes she is Jocelyn, why don't you go say hello to her and see if she washed up and is ready for dinner?" Harold suggested and she thankfully nodded and backed out of the room, avoiding looking in John's direction the entire time.

"What's the matter with her tonight?" John asked frustrated, running his left hand through his hair as he collapsed onto the armchair in his living room.

"Maybe she's had a long day," Harold offered feebly, earning a disbelieving glare from John in return.

"I mean, I always hug her when I see her, I don't know why it's suddenly an issue now" he says irritably, crossing his arms as he looked at the hallway.

"Does she know about Amanda…?" Harold asked innocently, seeing John's panicked eyes as he tensed.

Amanda was the neighbor a few doors down, and he didn't think much of her until recently. She'd invited him and Amelia to have dinner with her and he enjoyed her company, even though Amelia had pouted all through dinner and couldn't wait to get home. She's mention Jocelyn several times where he ended up giving Amanda just a few details, but she was a good listener. She had an easy smile and was kind, a schoolteacher that had this almost innocent air about her compared to Jocelyn. He sighed and hung his head. He'd mentioned that him and Carter were just friends, and she'd made it clear that she was attracted to him. She had come over to give Amelia a coloring book she thought she'd enjoy, and all Amelia had done was take it and placed it on the coffee table, opting to grab George, the red holiday moose Jocelyn had found her a few weeks back. He apologized at the door and she smiled, telling him that it was ok, she really only cared about his opinion of her. He had been waiting on Carter to give him the go ahead, but things seemed to be at a standstill, and now things were worse than when they began. He was screwed, and he knew that, and he was sure Harold and the rest of the planet knew too.

"Amanda had just been a simple kiss, you saw it," he said, bordering on hysterical, getting up and pacing. Harold shook his head and just watched him before speaking.

"No, what I saw was an embrace, not a simple kiss. If I was Joss, I'd have left and not come back" he stated factually.

"Thanks Finch, way to be on my fucking side" he mumbled.

"I am on your side, but she had arrived right after Amanda left. She probably saw it all. You owe her an explanation" Harold said, unaware that Jocelyn was listening in the hallway while Amelia washed her hands, taking a while because her new soap foamed and was blue.

"Why do I owe her anything? She isn't my girlfriend. Hell, she shouldn't even give a shit who I spend my time with"

"You owe her because you kept her around Mia. You made her an important part of our family John. You owe it to her, she deserves more than what she saw" he said disapprovingly, sending his brother an angry glare.

"Joss deserves better than what you're giving her John. She's had one hell of a life and you think that kissing another woman because she wasn't ready to be with you justifies that?" he asked in disbelief. John just stared hard at him in silence. Jocelyn saw Amelia coming down the hallway and went to scoop her up, coming into the tense living room with the little girl gesturing happily on her hip.

"Everything ok here?" she asked quietly, seeing both pairs of eyes swing to her, one in understanding, the other in anger. She put Amelia down and crouched down to her level, speaking to her only.

"Mia, why don't you and Uncle Harold go eat dinner? Your daddy and I have to talk about some things so we'll be back in a little while ok?" Mia nodded, giving her a hug, but then turning back to Jocelyn, sticking out her pinky finger between them.

"Pinky promise?" Amelia asked, and Jocelyn smiled and hooked her pinky around Amelia's, watching as the little girl ran into the kitchen, Harold going after her after he patted her on the shoulder giving her an encouraging look before he disappeared as well. She blew out a breath and stood up straight, her shoulders back and her head held high as she made eye contact with John, spinning on her heel to walk back down the hallway to his room. He followed and shut the door, leaning against it as she stood near his window, looking over the city as she waited for him to speak. He didn't say anything so she started, looking at the city instead of him.

"So, why the hell are you so pissed John?" she asked calmly, crossing her arms over her stomach, slouching against the wall as he did the same against the door unmoving.

"Funny, I could ask you the same thing Detective" he replied, using her title this time. He hadn't done that in months and it put her on edge. She was the one with a reason to be upset, not him.

"I'm not mad John, I'm not feeling much of anything"

"Yeah, that's a shock" he muttered, but she heard him and glared at him, making her way right in front of him only three feet away.

"Really John, you're really going to pull this shit on me now?"

"Pull what Carter, it's the truth" he said, and immediately regretted it as her face blanked, her shoulders slumping as he moved away from the doors, walking past her a foot and standing almost back to back with her.

"Well, at least the truth finally comes out. Thank you Mr. Reese, I appreciate the honesty," she said quietly as she walked towards the door. Her hand grabbed the doorknob before his right arm slammed against the door, keeping it from opening. His other arm reached right over her left shoulder, caging her against the door as she rested her forehead against it in surrender. He breathed heavily behind her, the sound comforting and hurtful all at the same time.

"Let me go Mr. Reese" she said slowly, making sure he understood the subtle threat in her words. He got closer and pressed his chest against her back, their breathing rapid and in sync. It was quiet aside from their breaths, making Jocelyn nervous. She could smell his cologne and it was making her dizzy. It was sensory overload as she turned around, brushing his chest as she faced him. His eyes were something she'd always found fascinating about him; they said things words didn't for him.

"No Joss, please don't go" he whispered brokenly as his forehead rested against hers, her eyes falling shut involuntarily at the emotions that coursed through her. She could feel their breath mingling together as he neared her, kissing her cheek lightly. She shivered as he angled his head, ready to kiss her she knew as she placed her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away.

"I won't be anyone's second choice John, not even for you," she whispered as she turned and opened the door, getting only a few feet before his hand grabbed hers again.

"Joss, you were never my second choice, Amanda meant nothing" he said honestly, feeling her withdraw and slip away from him.

"I knew you were too good to be true" she said more to herself than him, "I knew and I thought you'd be different" they stood in the hallway facing the same direction as tears gathered in her eyes again as she swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke.

"Tell Amelia I wasn't feeling well and that she can call me before she goes to bed. I can't even be in the same room with you right now" she whispered, pulling her hand away from him as she walked away. He met her at the door as she grabbed her coat, Harold peaking out the kitchen door unnoticeably as John tried to talk to her one last time.

"Joss, please just let me explain" he said, and Harold flinched at the fire he saw in her eyes as she faced him.

"Fuck you John. I don't need anything from you. Be happy with Amanda," she said sarcastically as she took a breath and spoke one last time, "But don't expect us to ever be the same. If Amelia wants to see me, have your brother call me or something, just stay the hell away from me" she said and she left, the door slamming as he hit it in frustration, Amelia and Harold coming out of the kitchen. Amelia looked around for Joss, and when she realized that she'd left, her big blue eyes filled with tears as she ran to her room, slamming the door shut as he stood with his hands over his face. He groaned as his brother looked at him with a vacant expression.

"What Harold?" he snapped.

"Oh nothing, just observing love at its finest" he says flatly.

"She doesn't love me, hell, she can't even look at me for more than a minute" he said quietly.

"Well, next time kiss her rather than your neighbor. You didn't try to kiss her did you?" he asked, knowing the answer as he rolled his eyes at his brother's stupidity.

"Of course I did. Harold, I love that goddamn stubborn woman more than anyone, excluding you and Mia" he admitted, shocking him as it came out of his mouth so effortlessly. He just shrugged, knowing it was true.

"Then don't be so surprised John. You were kissing Amanda no more than a half an hour ago, she knew where your mouth had been" John glared and sat on the floor, admitting to himself that his brother was right.

"So, what are you going to do about making it up to Joss John? You owe her something, considering this was something that had happened to her before"

At the sharp look John threw him, Harold knew he'd said too much and tried to back away. The look John gave him made him stay put as he sighed and wrung his hands in front of him. Even being the older sibling, Harold still struggled to let his brother fight his on battles without reinforcements.

"She was cheated on by a long term boyfriend of almost eight years before they broke up last year. The woman had been her best friend since college. Her life has been hard John, and this just happened to mirror that situation almost perfectly. It wasn't my place to tell you, but I suppose now it makes more sense" John swore as he hung his head, looking at his brother in despair a moment later.

"So Finch, how the hell do I fix this?"

"Well, if you want her to forgive you before you're 80…"

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><p>Enjoy? I hope so. Give some feedback, I need some suggestions to cement my next step in this story.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

So my lovely readers, here's my chapter 9. For those of you that wondered, I actually wrote chapter 8 the Wednesday before Baby Blue, so I had no idea about Carter! It was pure coincidence I swear. He's the chapter we've been waiting for, and I'm sad to say that I may only have a max of 2-4 more chapters until this baby is put to bed.

Don't forget to let me know what you think or how I should continue, it's always helpful. I thank everyone that had reviewed and just those that have read, it means the world to me. Had to get this out before I go coach softball, enjoy!

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><p>Two miserable weeks later, John was starting to resent Harold's advice to let Jocelyn cool off before attempting to talk to her again. He was in a rotten mood most of the time, jumping when the phone rang, hoping to hear her voice on the other end. He was aware that kissing Amanda was wrong, but he didn't see Amanda's face in his mind when he kissed her; he saw Jocelyn's dark eyes stare at him with affection and amusement and remembered how close they'd gotten to really kissing on several occasions. He saw what he wanted, but it wasn't with the woman he longed for. Amanda was a stand in, and despite how much he hated to admit it; Jocelyn had every right to hate him. If he'd seen her kiss another man, he'd have been hurt and angry and stormed out. At least she'd made an attempt to talk to him, but he'd pushed her away because he thought he was entitled to these feelings. Turns out, he'd hurt her and himself unnecessarily and he was paying the price.<p>

He shook his head and took a sip of his water as he leaned against the wall in the corner of the room, watching the door intently. He looked at his watch, the ceremony ending at 6:30 as he waited to get a glimpse of her. He knew it wasn't the time to be brooding at Amelia's preschool graduation, but he was on edge again. He knew his brother had reminded Jocelyn that it was today because he'd caught the tail end of the conversation. When Harold saw him, he hung up the phone quickly and left the room that day. It upset him that Harold was allowed to call, but he gathered that he still wasn't her favorite person at the moment. He kept an eye on the door as he sought out Amelia looking adorable in her mini cap and gown as she ran around with her friends. The ceremony had just wrapped up when he saw her, and he tried to remind himself to breath and not choke on his water like an idiot when he spotted her.

She hesitantly walked through the door again after going back to the car after the ceremony, tucking a piece of her bangs behind her ear as the rest of her hair was up in a ponytail. She'd caught the end of the ceremony and Amelia's name being called from the back of the crowd, work letting her get away just in time. She had on a white sundress that made him stop, her skin nearly glowing as he watched her get a drink from the table as she turned around, seeing Amelia run towards her as she smiled beautifully at his daughter. He sighed and pushed off the wall, making his way over to her slowly, seeing his brother nod as he passed. As Jocelyn caught Amelia in a hug at the ground, he stopped a few people away, trying to observe without making her uncomfortable.

"Joss! You came!" Amelia squealed as they hugged, Amelia instantly getting picked up by Jocelyn as they stood just out of reach.

"Of course sweetheart, why wouldn't I? I promised Uncle Harold that I'd be here" she said, smiling at the little girl lovingly. It hurt John to see the sadness around Jocelyn's eyes, knowing he was the cause of it. He made his way over to them, but not before the father of one of Amelia's classmates walked up to them. He flexed his hands as the father, Ian he thought, came up and smiled at Jocelyn, looking her up and down. He felt his anger flare but stayed rooted to the ground watching in twisted curiosity.

"I don't think we've met, I'm Ian, Xander's father" Ian stuck his hand out, Jocelyn taking it as he kisses her hand, John smiling at the way she shifts her eyes away, looking for someone in a room full of strangers. He wants to rescue her, but she wasn't his to rescue.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jocelyn" she says, pulling her hand away as gracefully as she could. She was trying to look for Harold or John, but being stopped at the door hindered that. She was apprehensive about seeing him again, but she couldn't help the way her stomach dipped in anticipation as well as nervousness. Holding Amelia helped keep her calm, but for once, she was willing to admit that she not only needed John, but also that she wanted him there. She wasn't able to get to him before the ceremony because she had been late, but she felt the need to try to fix whatever they'd broken between them. She knew her reaction was quick to be hostile and angry, but thinking about it made her see the flaws. They both came into the fight defensive and it escalated, making it impossible to be civil from the very beginning. She had come to that conclusion in the lobby as she walked out that night.

"So, you're here to see all of our munchkins graduate huh?" he asked charmingly, but it just annoyed her. She wasn't normally a woman with a short fuse, but he was getting in the middle of a situation unknowingly. She didn't want this to be Amanda part two, she couldn't handle hurting John even more than she already had.

"Yeah of course. Actually, Amelia and I were just looking for her daddy so I could go say hi. Where's Daddy Mia?" she asked as she looked at the girl, seeing Amelia's face light up as she asked to be put down, only to have Amelia grip her hand and drag her away. Normally, she'd apologize for leaving so suddenly, but he wasn't the man she wanted to see today.

As Amelia came up to him, he forced his eyes to stay locked on Jocelyn's eyes, watching as emotions rolled through them until he saw a small smile grace her mouth, making her eyes crinkle in happiness as he watched. She shifted on her feet, encased in these white sandals as she stared back at him, licking her bottom lip quickly as she nodded at him.

"Here's daddy Joss! Can I go play with my friends now?" Amelia looked up at them for approval, darting off as they simultaneously nodded their consent. They just stood staring at one another for more than a minute, forgetting that there were parents and children running around. She got lost in his eyes again, remembering the way she could read him when words failed. It's something she loved about him; he never felt the need to fill the silences with useless conversation. He let her see what he needed her to see by really looking at him, and this was one of those times where she knew she was spot on as she spoke.

"We really messed up John" she said lowly, her eyes hitting the ground before she looked back at him in remorse. She was apologizing in the best way she knew how, and that was enough for him. All he'd wanted was to hear her voice, see that she didn't hate him, but what he got was so much more.

"I think we did what we knew best; we pushed until someone blinked. I'm so sorry Joss…" he trailed off, stepping forward as she tilted her head back slightly to look at him. She blew out a breath at his chest, cautiously placing her hands on his hips, running them back so her hands settled flatly on his lower back. He sucked in a breath at the intimate gesture, feeling his dress shirt shift as her fingers flexed in the fabric. She placed her forehead on his chest as she held him; his arms coming up rest on her lower back as well as his fingers pressed gently into the cotton of her dress as they both relaxed into one another. He sighed into her hair as his head rested on hers, tucking her into his body as they stood there before they were interrupted.

"While I understand this is important, you're both attracting attention…" Harold warned as he came up to them, carrying a sleeping Mia in his arms. They then noticed that people were staring at them oddly as everyone cleared out, the teachers staying behind to clean up after the ceremony watching them curiously as well. They'd been too wrapped up in each other to notice that everyone was taking their children home to sleep off their sugar high. Harold shifted Amelia onto his shoulder as he started to make his way outside.

"I'll put her in your car John, I have to go do something. Jocelyn, do you need a ride home?" he asked innocently, hoping that John would take it as an in to take her home and really talk to her.

"Actually, Amelia has to go sleep off her crash. Will you stay with me?" he asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, ducking his head as he looked through his lashed at her. She smiled at him as he stood beside her, one of his hands being a welcome weight on the small of her back. She looked at him and then Harold, nodding as he smiled at the couple before continuing outside.

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><p>Walking into the loft with Amelia on her chest, Joss smiled at the familiarity of the whole ordeal. There were still loaded looks and strained silences between her and John in the car, but for the most part she felt like she was coming home. She'd spent so much time in there over the past four plus months that she didn't feel awkward at all. She walked in after he unlocked the door, heading straight to Amelia's room as John followed silently behind her. She got Amelia to wake up for all of five minutes to change into her pajamas before John was putting her in bed and tucking her in. He kissed her forehead and she smiled sleepily at him as she hugged Leroy close to her, John getting up and tilting his head towards Joss as she moved by him to say goodnight as well. She brushed past him, grabbing his hip gently as she moved around him, her body tensing as he reached a hand out to hold her close to him.<p>

They were falling into old habits rapidly, and it didn't scare her or make her balk like she thought she would. Joss just looked up at him and smiled; sliding her other hand over his as he gently released her. He stood in the doorway of Amelia's room as Jocelyn smiled and sat just to the side of Leroy. He smiled as Amelia made a quick grab for George, the moose Jocelyn had gotten her, and held each moose in her arms. Amelia blinked slowly as Joss tucked her in more, brushing her fingers through Amelia's hair as the little girls baby blues slowly slipped behind heavy eyelids.

"Goodnight sweetheart" Joss whispered, tucking hair behind Amelia's ear as she made to get up. Amelia shifted and hugged the moose closer to her like armor, her head the only thing peaking out behind moose and her comforter.

"Night Mommy" she mumbled, already drifting to sleep as Joss froze, her back to John. She could feel the air still as she closed her eyes, her heart beating a mile a minute as she stalled for time, just watching Amelia sleep as she tried to think of a way to laugh off the comment. John was silent behind her, unmoving as he watched Joss watching Amelia. He saw the tension and near panic in the way she stood, and if worried him. He thought that while the slip was unexpected, it made him smile inside because Amelia really loved Jocelyn. She'd never called another woman mommy before, and it made him want to laugh aloud at the way Jocelyn was just trying delay the inevitable talk they had to have. His daughter really did have some interesting timing; that was something she had to have gotten from Harold.

He backed out of the room and heard Jocelyn follow after him a minute later, a shy smile on her face as he sat on the back of the couch, facing the hallway. Even sitting there he was slightly taller than her still, and for some reason it amused him. He chuckled and then full out laughed as she relaxed and laughed along with him for what he assumed were other reasons. Laughing seemed to dissolve the tension as he sat there staring at her as they both quieted down. She stood there comfortably, watching as he looked at her intently before tilting his head slightly, hoping she'd come closer to him. They'd been around each other long enough for her to respond on autopilot, not because she felt she had to, but because she wanted to. She was one to always be in control and strong, but John seemed to be strong enough for the both of them, allowing her moments to relax and just breathe. She came to stand right between his parted feet, in his personal space as she grinned at him, tilting her head the opposite way.

He confidently slid his hands under her jaw, caressing the skin of her neck with his pinkie fingers as she shivered and sighed contently. She placed her hands on his hips again, this time slipping the tips of her fingers around his back to rest in the top of the pockets of his jeans. He sucked in a slow breath as his fingers ran past her ears, the tips of his long fingers slipping into the hair she'd let down a while ago as her head automatically tilted back slightly. She ran her hands flexed and held onto him as she waited for him to do something as he continued to just look her in the eye. He watched the question in her eyes and leaned closer until they were at eye level, his happy gaze meeting her content one.

"What are you looking at?" she asked softly, not wanting to speak any louder for fear that it'd ruin the moment. His face tensed for a moment before relaxing, confusing the hell out of her. He took a deep breath before responding, just as quietly as her even though it was after seven in the evening on a Friday.

"You really want to know Joss?" he asked, his breath ghosting over her lips, as she looked him in the eye. She wasn't afraid anymore, that much was clear. She was jumping into, whatever this was, headfirst this time. She loved this hardheaded, gorgeous, kind man and his daughter more than she ever thought possible. It may have taken her a while to realize it, but she was done wasting their time together.

"Yeah John, I really do" she whispered, watching as a beautiful smile emerged on his face, making her heart stutter and her stomach dip in excitement and nervousness. He made her dizzy and she loved it.

"I was actually thinking of two things, one being the fact that I love that Mia called you mommy. You'd make a wonderful mother Joss. I was also just thinking about the fact that I'm in love with you, and there's nothing I can do about it" he whispered, closing his eyes and opening them slowly only to see Jocelyn biting her bottom lip as tears threatened to slide down her cheeks.

"John, I'm so sorry" she said, and he wanted to die right there. She closed her eyes as a tear fell, his heart hammering in his chest as he realized that she didn't love him back and didn't know how to tell him. He was just about to pull his hands away as hers came up to rest over his on her face, bringing him as close as possible without touching.

"It's ok…" he choked out, the air in his lungs refusing to cooperate with him.

She opened her eyes and smiled slightly as he looked at her confusingly, only to have her lean in the last part of the way, her lips tenderly placed over his in what he could only describe as love. He kissed her back, keeping the kiss tender, his lips taking her bottom lip into his mouth as he sucked on it, hearing her gasp as she shifted, pulling his lip in between hers and biting down gently as he groaned into her mouth. His tongue snuck out to lick her lower lip, her mouth opening up to him as he seductively slid his tongue over hers. She sighed into the kiss and they slowed down until they just held one another. She lifted her head in his hands and looked at him, seeing the love in his eyes for her that she kept missing all this time.

"I'm not sorry that you love me John, I'm just sorry that I haven' told you that I've fallen in love with you too" she said, and he kissed her again, passion fueling them as he pulled her into him, kissing her as if it were the very last time.

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><p>Well, there it is. Is there any way to continue this or shal I write an epilogue? You be the judge and let me know.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

I AM SO SORRY. Life's been difficult and there have been things that have needed my attention before thsis story. I hope i still have people wanting to see things resolved and grow, because I enjoy growing as an author.

I know there's not a whole hell of a lot I can say for my absence, but I hope this makes up for that a bit. Read my note at the end of this chapter for more details, and review and enjoy my latest addition.

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><p>Fingering the long blood red button up shirt, Joss was positive that last night had been one of the best, if not slightly odd, nights of her life. She sat on the edge of John's bed, staring at her pile of clothes from the graduation yesterday and couldn't help the way her skin tingled in bliss. She could feel the smile spread across her face and did nothing to hide it because she was finally happy. She'd told John she loved him, even after he thought she didn't and finally kissed him with everything she had. She put both of her hands behind her as she leant back slightly, seeing the shirt rise high on her thighs. She remembered this shirt well, it was the same one he'd worn all those moths ago to the first dinner they'd ever had. She smoothed the fabric, looking at the wall as she remembered how they ended things last night.<p>

_Sucking her bottom lip into his mouth, John brought Joss flush against him as he maneuvered them so he was standing in front of his couch cushions, her directly in front of him. He broke their kiss slowly and watched her open her eyes, her hands holding his shoulders firmly as he watched her. He smiled at her and slowly removed her hands from him, hating the disappointed look on her face as he sat down in front of her. She cocked her eyebrow in challenge at him, and he just smiled at her as he reached for her left hand, pulling her down so she straddled his lap. He deliberately locked gazes with her as he took both of her hands in his, bringing them between them as he intertwined their fingers. He brought them level to their mouths, holding her eyes playfully as he kissed her fingers, never blinking as he felt more than saw the way he was making her feel. He could see the way her eyes darkened as he finished kissing their hands, untangling their fingers for a moment as he gently held her wrists in each hand, bringing then to his lips. He could feel her rapid breathing as he hovered over her pulse point, his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin there before he placed a slow kiss to each wrist. He watched the way her eyes closed and she relaxed before his very eyes, the action relaxing him because it was a sign of trust. She knew he was able to feel how fast her heart was racing under his lips, and she let him do it anyway._

_He released her hands to settle his own on her calves, massaging the muscles tenderly as her eyes opened, her hands making their way around his neck. Her fingers gently sifted through the hair at the nape of his neck and he unexpectedly shivered, earning a soft teasing smile from her._

"_Guess I have an effect on you, huh John?" she asked, tilting her head to the side in silent mockery. He smiled at her anyway, leaning forward to nuzzle her neck and ear with his nose as he spoke. He could feel the way she stilled, her blood thrumming just under her skin as he brought his cheek up against hers, his lips purposely teasing her ear with every word._

"_I'd like to think I'm a worthy opponent hun" he murmured, his teeth playfully grazing the outer shell of her ear before he pulled it between his teeth, giving her earlobe a playful tug. She giggled and he smiled instinctively, already picturing the way her eyes shut and her dimples appeared behind his closed eyes. He kept his face buried in her neck for another moment before pulling back slightly to look at her again. She sat back on his lap and just looked at him, using her thumb to lightly trace his features as he stared at her. Her thumb traced his bottom lip carefully as his tongue snuck out quickly to catch the tip of her thumb in his mouth, flicking his tongue over her thumb before releasing her finger from his lips. He could see the heat in her stare at she got close to him, her lips almost brushing his, but not quite. _

"_We need sleep John. This is…" She leveled him with a look that said it all, and he nodded, proud of himself that he could invoke such a passionate response from her, "this can wait for a night when we've had a chance to settle in again. Are you ok with that?" _

_She looked down, her fingers playing with the top button of his shirt before he hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her face to meet his. He kissed her affectionately, keeping the kiss light and pulled away from her smiling. She beamed back at him and he knew he was done; she was it for him._

"_I think sleeping is good, but I think waking up next to you is better. Will you at least stay tonight? I promise I'll be…" he paused at the disbelieving look on her face, and he chose his words carefully, "a gentleman. When we're finally together, it'll be perfect Joss. You deserve that at the very least" he stated lovingly, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear as he let his finger gently glide against her skin before dropping his hand. She slowly made her way off of his lap, reaching down to grab his hand as she lead them both to his room. _

_As they made their way into the room, Joss dropped John's hand and stood with her hip against his dresser, watching him as he went into his closet, unbuttoning his shirt as he went to throw it in the basket from what she could see. As he slipped it off of his shoulders, she had to suck in a breath at the expanse of tan skin that was revealed to her. She saw his skin flecked with a few scars and scrapes from work she assumed, and she had the overwhelming urge to trace each and every one. He could feel her stare on his back and for some reason it made him slightly apprehensive. He looked over his shoulder and she smirked, her mouth slowly forming that killer smile that almost made him forget about his promise to be a gentleman. He turned and walked up to her, caging her sides with his hands on his dresser as he leant in to look at her up close, catching the way her breath hitched, as she looked him in the eye._

"_Whatcha looking at?" she asked, leaning back to sit on the edge of the dresser as he continued to stare, a smirk on his face._

"_Just the future Joss" he replied, quickly moving his arms as he dove into a drawer for clothes, leaving her to wonder just how serious he was. She let it go in favor of staring at the muscles in his back flexing as he dug through drawers of clothes. She smiled as she reached out and swept her fingertips over a small scar on his ribcage, laughing lowly as he stood still for a moment before returning to the task at hand. He came up with a pair of pants for himself and shorts and a shirt for her, but she had already moved towards his closet, looking at the numerous shirts he had hanging up. He watched as she reached up and pulled a red shirt off of a hanger, smiling as she grabbed the sleeve and touched the buttons._

"_Find something you like?" he asked rhetorically, watching as she placed the shirt over her shoulders, her back to him. She buttoned the first button to hold it in place as she slipped the dress off of her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. His mouth dropped open as she finished button the shirt, her back still to him as he watched her pick up her dress and place it over the chair in the corner. She came up to him and he had the almost painful urge to take his shirt back off of her, but just watched as she took her finger and placed it under his chin, closing his mouth slightly._

"_You'll catch flies that way" she whispered, laughing as she walked over to sit on the edge of his bed, watching as he changed into a pair of pajama pants before sitting on the opposite side of the bed, his back to hers as he laid down with his hands behind his head. She looked over and laid down carefully, turning her body towards him as her right arm rested over his chest, her left hand going under her head as she placed it on his shoulder. She smiled into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her, his breath evening out as she drifted off the sleep, her fingers intertwining with his just before she slipped into unconsciousness. _

Shaking her head, she smiled and got up off the bed, grabbing the shorts he'd offered her last night and slipped them on, unaware of whether or not Amelia would be awake already. She made her way into the kitchen silently, hearing voices behind the door as she approached. She stayed silent as she listened for a minute, trying to make out John's low rumble against Mia's high, hurried speech as she cracked the door slightly to peak inside.

"I though we talked about this Mija…" he said warningly as he flipped pancakes.

"But Daddy! She's my mommy, because I said so!" she huffed, slumping down in her chair at the counter behind him pouting. She sighed loudly again and he ignored her. She huffed once again and dropped her head on her arms, moaning before shooting her head up to look at him, her eyes scared almost.

"Daddy, don't you love Joss?"

John stopped pouring the batter and turned to look at Amelia, the look on her face breaking his heart. She thought he'd changed his mind, when it was the exact opposite. He sighed and wiped his hands on the towel he'd thrown over his shoulder, his bare chest contrasting with the white of the towel. His pajama pants were a dark blue, while Amelia sat in footsy pajamas with antlers all over. They were a purple color and she had to smile at the Mia's dedication to all things moose related.

"Honey, I love Joss very much. But you need to ask her if you can call her mommy ok?" he asked tiredly, watching the way her eyes returned to their normal blue, no longer dark with emotions. She looked down at her feet under the counter, and he watched the way her feet fidgeted while she chewed on her bottom lip. It was adorable, if only because she picked up the lip biting from Joss.

"But what if she doesn't wanna be my mommy…" she murmured, but Joss could hear her loud and clear. Just as John was about to go and talk to Amelia, Joss backed out and walked into the kitchen, pretending that she had just gotten up. Mia immediately perked up and John turned to her, his eyes dark blue as he watched the way her frame was swallowed by his shirt. It was intimate, her bare skin against the fabric of one of his favorite shirts. She smiled at him but went toward Amelia first, hugging the little girl as she stood on her chair. Joss laughed as the little girl held on for dear life, before sitting back down and blurting out her question.

"Joss, you wanna be my mommy?" she asked timidly, chewing on her lips again as her fingers wrapped together in a bundle of nerves. Joss gently untangled her finger and took her hands in her own, all too aware of John watching them, abandoning the food all together.

"Sweetheart, I'd love to be your mommy. You know I'll always be here for you" she said, tearing up as Amelia smiled brilliantly, much like her father when he's ecstatic.

"Yay!" she said, jumping up again to grab Joss in a crushing hug, her little tears making their way to her neck. Joss pulled back to see Amelia crying, but her eyes were wide and happy. Wiping the falling tears away, she had to hold her own in as she spoke.

"Sweetie, why are you crying?"

"I have a mommy, like everybody else" she explained, and a tear made it's way down Joss' cheek. She couldn't imagine ever wanting anything else in that moment, but just as Amelia sat down to the plate of food John placed in front of her, she felt arms wrap around her from behind. She sighed and sunk into his body, loving the way he wrapped around her, making her feel protected and adored by him. She tilted her head back against his chest, her hair tickling his neck as his hands tightened around her waist. He leaned his chin against the side of her head, sighing in her ear as they watched Mia eat her pancakes.

"So mommy, how'd you sleep?" he murmured, laughing as she elbowed him in the stomach. He felt her laugh as she turned in his arms, looking up at him through her eyelashes. She gave him a soft look as she got up on her toes to kiss the underside of his chin, pulling away when his head dipped down to chase her lips. She grinned and turned to look at Amelia over her shoulder, watching as the little girl eat and tune them out.

"I slept just fine thank you. Mommy's going to take some getting used to," she mumbled, shaking her head as she looked back at John. His eyes were bright as he suppressed a smile, and she just tipped her head to the side playfully as he leaned down to kiss her. She immediately smiled into the kiss, feeling his smile as her hands came up to cradle him face. Her smile widened as he nipped at her lower lip playfully, and she had to pull away before letting out a throaty laugh. He watched the way her eyes shut and her mouth form a beautiful smile and he couldn't breathe. She was perfect and perfect for him, and he was finally beginning to understand that she wasn't a person to hide from but rather someone he could count on to be there through everything.

"You know what I realized?" he asked, studying the way her face stayed unguarded when she looked at him again, curious of what he had to say.

"That I really am as amazing as I seem" she retorted, giggling as he grazed his nose against hers affectionately, capturing her lips for a quick kiss.

"I knew that Joss. What I now know is that you're it" he said, lowering his voice as her eyes widened in comprehension, "You're it for me, and for Amelia. I just want you to know that…when the time comes…I'll ask you a question and I'll need an answer" he finished, closing his eyes briefly before finding hers again.

John looked at Joss, and felt the way her hands gripped his sides tighter slightly before she just stood in his arms motionless. He was well aware of the pressure he was putting on her so soon, but she wasn't one to back down from something she held close to her heart.

"John…" she whispered, but he interrupted her before she had a chance to speak.

"Joss, I'm done pretending like you aren't what I want in my future. You know I love you, and I never want you to question that. I'm not saying I'll ask you today, tomorrow, or next week, but I will when we're ready. I need you to know that I'm all in this, and I want you to be sure you're all in this too so no one gets hurt" he admitted, his eyes dropping before meeting hers again.

"I don't want to be in love with you if you aren't in love with me Joss, but if you are, I want this to be a forever thing. I just want to know if that's why you want us to end up" Joss looked up at him and pulled him closer to her, John's bare chest against her own. She could hear her heart hammering in her chest, and it comforted her to know that his was just as erratic and rapid. She leaned her head against his chest, right below his chin as she took a deep breath.

"John, I know we're going somewhere. I know I want to see Amelia graduate elementary school, hell even high school and college! I want to be around to grow old with you, celebrate birthdays and Christmas' with you. I want the rest of my life to include you and Amelia. I don't think I could see a future without you," She breathed out hurriedly, shutting her eyes tightly as he sighed in relief, smiling wider to the point where he thought his face might actually freeze that way.

"Daddy, mommy can I have mas?" Amelia interrupted, lifting her plate and shaking it back and forth, proving that it was in fact empty. John and Joss whipped their heads around to stare at her, laughing at the obvious displeasure she felt at being out of food. Joss looked over at John and he let go of her slowly, trailing his fingers down her sides as he turned away from her towards the stove. They were quiet while John made more pancakes, and just as he flipped the first ones, Joss got close and placed her hand on his right side. He looked over his left shoulder to look at her face before turning back to the food as she leaned her body against his back. She placed her head against his shoulder blade and kissed the side of his neck, feeling his pulse jump under lips as she sighed against his skin.

"Yes" she whispered in his ear, pulling away slightly as he looked at her confused.

"John, I'm saying yes. Whenever you want to ask me, know that my answer is yes. My answer will always be yes to you" she muttered, kissing his ear before he quickly turned away from the stove, hoisting her up and into his arms. She squealed as he lifter her into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck as he swung her around the kitchen. He could faintly hear Amelia laughing and yelling in the background as they spun. He finally put her down on her feet as they swayed dangerously, the biggest smile on their faces. He knew she was different, and he knew that she was his one shot at forever. How they got here was anything but normal, but they wouldn't have it any other way. Now all they had to do was get to forever.

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><p>Like? I hope so, it took forever to get right. I hate to say this, but that's the end of it. I can make one more chapter for an epilogue, but it hurts to say that this is almost completely wrapped up. It's my best story yet! I'm so proud of this story and I hoped I've made a difference in one person and how they view something, or just that it was something they looked forward to when there wasn't much else. I know it sounds dumb, but this was for all of my readers and reviewers and I appreciate each and every one of you. Please let me know any final thoughts you may have for an epilogue and prompts for future fics. Thanks again, and please don't ever be a stranger.<p> 


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